AllFreeNovel
Share Us
She follows, watching me as I slip on my jacket and shove my boots on.
“They’re calling for a lot of snow tomorrow. You guys still going out?”
I nod, tugging a beanie over my head. “As if Cort was going to cancel their bachelor party for a little bit of snow.”
Mel laughs. “Tell him I said hi. Hudson too.”
Nodding, I think how ironic it is that I’ve still yet to come out as bi, when the guy I consider my best friend—a guy I’ve worked with since opening my business seven years ago—is getting married to another man in a few short weeks.
“And if it’s too much…” she says, dragging her words pointedly.
I give her a mock salute. “I’ll dip out. They know the score.”
Outside, snow flurries fall from the sky, and I tip my head back, seal my eyes shut.
Not for the first time, I wonder when this pain will fade. Will it ever?
Even if I go home tonight, and check Facebook or whatever, and miraculously find him…what would I even do? Go after him? Confess how empty I feel at the thought of going through the rest of my life without him?
Skyler’s still so young. His life has barely started. All I would do is drag him down, hold him back, just like I would’ve back then had I been selfish and asked him to wait for me like I wanted.
We worked on the island.
But out here, in the real world…
If we tried to make it last, he would’ve just grown to resent me.
Hell, for all I know he already does. He’s older now. He has to see how fucked it was for me to pursue a sexual relationship with someone so young and inexperienced.
“Don’t regret this when it’s over. No matter what. I want this to be a good thing, Nolan…”
I squeeze my eyes shut at the memory.
“Please don’t ruin this.”
His voice echoes, and I hate that it sounds more like my voice than his these days.
Sniffing, I rub my nose, climb into my truck, and turn on the engine.
I’m trying, sweetheart. I am…
I glance up at the rearview mirror, meeting my deadened green eyes.
Thing is…
I wouldn’t blame him in the least ifheregretted it.
Ruined it.
Lit a match to what was and watched it burn.
It’s probably the least I deserve.
Pulling out my phone, I open my email app, and click on the drafts folder. I slide my thumb over the screen, my vision blurring with everyDear SkylerandDear SkyandSweetheartI see.
All my thoughts, regrets, and wishes gathered up in this little box, sitting there with nowhere to go.
I lock the screen, press my phone to my chest, and throw my head back against the seat.
