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For my sake…
But most of all, his.
CHAPTEREIGHTEEN
SKYLER
It’s official. Nolan’s avoiding me.
All week, I thought maybe it was just in my head. That I was just being paranoid. Clingy.
I mean, sure, we didn’t leave off on the best of terms—he was clearly freaking out a little, not to mention feeling unnecessarily guilty over my injuries—but still.
I thought…
Ihoped…
And every night, I’ve been tossing and turning, replaying what went down in the cave until I finally gave in and touched myself, Nolan’s name ground out into the pillows as I shuddered and came in my hand.
It’s becoming a problem. Never in my life have I been this horny.
It’s like finally getting a taste of another man opened the floodgates, and now I’m addicted.
And it’s ridiculous, because it’s not even like being gay is new for me. It’s been a fact for as long as I remember. Girls just never held any appeal, and the second I learned liking boys was an option, I ran with it and never looked back.
Well, at least in my fantasies.
And it’s not like I’ve never touched another cock, or jerked off to the fantasy of another guy touching me, licking me, fucking me…
But this was different.
This wasn’t another boy, whispering lies into my ears while we awkwardly jerked each other off in the supply closet.
This was a man—all man—someone rugged and experienced, who took what he wanted and didn’t tell me lies, but praised me, told me how good I was, and growled out my name like an animal pouncing on his prey.
What we shared was so much more than anything I could’ve ever dreamed up. Sure, I’ve seen porn here and there, but it’s been years, and the stuff I saw didn’t hold a candle to what transpired between Nolan and me.
I didn’t think sex could be like that, and we didn’t even go to third base, much less kiss.
But the raw, unfettered, animalistic need as we tore at each other, grappling and sucking at skin like it was imperative we consume as much of each other as we could…
It went beyond just basic lust.
Beyond desire.
It was need in its basest form, the kind of need that sparked a wildfire in our blood, making feral, primal beings of two starved souls on a mission to devour one another.
But despite knowing this, that it was…situational—despite knowing we may have never crossed that line had Nolan not saved my life; had we not gotten stranded in a cave together; had I not woke up thrusting against him…
Despite how we left things after…the way he could barely look at me…the way he dismissed me when we got back…
Despite all ofthat…
I hoped.
God help me, Ihoped.
And isn’t that the saddest, most pathetic thing you ever heard?Of coursehe regrets it.Of coursehe wants to pretend it never happened.
