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After I’ve quickly showered and dressed in a buttery soft yellow dress, I sit cross-legged in the middle of my bed with a pencil in hand and my sketchpad on my lap.
I don’t want to draw. A feeling so rare, I can’t remember the last time it’s happened—if it ever did.
Five minutes pass this way.
Then ten.
Then fifteen.
Jittery, I put my pencil down and cross over to sit in the boucle window seat instead, thinking. My legs bounce and my mind keeps wanting to swing back to alpha knots. I try to focus because staying would be permanent. Whatever I decide to do, I have to be sure. Not only for my sake, but also for Pack Ashe.
I’m not sure when it happened, but I learned to trust Pack Ashe. Enough to consider staying. Enough to sleep with Kylian and nearly with Cian too. And enough to nearly tell Rune I want them to help me through my heat. If they want it too.
So what am I doing hiding up in my room and letting them risk something happening to them by Cian going out to get me suppressants?
I don’t want suppressants. I want them.Allof them.
“So tell them,” I whisper, resting my brow on the cool glass. “Maybe they want the same thing as well.”
I bounce to my feet, intent on telling Rune what I so nearly did in the kitchen minutes before, when a brief flash of light blue pulls my gaze to the wooded part of the garden.
A smile stretches my lips. “Della.”
I rush from my room, down the stairs, and past the office where Rune, Cian, and Kylian are deep in conversation.
Nancy and Hali are laughing in the kitchen, and the sound makes me smile. The Ashes truly gave them a home here, not just a job. Another sign that staying here with them—as long as we can figure out what to do about Lawrence—might be where I want to be.
As I head for the back garden, Rune’s Cajun drawl reminds me of him telling me that when I was ready for more, I could go into the office, grip him by the front of his shirt, and tug him down for a kiss.
I think I want to do it.
I think I’mgoingto do it. Not on the tip of his nose. His mouth.
That’swhere I want to kiss him.
And I will… after I’ve told Della not to go back to Lawrence’s house. It’s far too dangerous.
I hurry to the herb garden, where I saw the flash of pale blue.
“Della? Why didn’t you come to the house?” I call out.
Silence.
“Della?”
I glimpse blue again, but it—and Della—is moving away from me. “Della? What is it?”
I step deeper into the herb garden.
Chapter39
Cian
Asoft knock on the door interrupts Rune mid-sentence.
“Come in,” Rune yells.
I doubt I’m alone in hoping it’s Everleigh coming to tell us she wants to stay. I haven’t stopped kicking myself for interrupting her, and I don’t plan on it for the foreseeable future. From what Rune told Kylian and me about their conversation in the kitchen, it sounds like that’s exactly where things were going.
