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This is not a conversation I’m enjoying. But this is Lou’s last day staying with us—her musicians are flying in as we speak, and she’s starting intense rehearsals from tomorrow, a few days ahead of me. She’s moving to a different hotel. Pretty soon, we’ll be too busy to cross paths, let alone talk.
And we need to talk. I promised myself that.
Trying to change my life seems pretty hopeless, I’m not going to lie. I’m too far gone. But I have to start somewhere. And this is where I start.
We’re at my new favorite spot: The terrace of the hotel, looking straight at the Parthenon. Lou settles down in a lounge chair next to me, making sure she’s in the shade.
“What’s up, babe?”
I sigh. This is so not going to go well. “Us,” I reply. “Our contract. That’s what’s up.”
“What do you mean?” Her porcelain-white brow is unmarred by a wrinkle of concern. Oh boy.
“I mean, our contract is done,” I say calmly. “I don’t care how much it will cost me to cancel your shows practically three days before the tour starts, but whatever it is, I’ll pay it.”
The color has drained from her face, the first traces of real, actual fear showing in her eyes.
“Who… who will open for you?” she asks in a small voice. Her real voice, not a fake one.
“I have no idea. I told you, there is no one else I want to open for me but you. It’s still true. But as things stand right now, I’m this close to calling up those Greek boys we met in Corfu and asking them to open for me.”
“You what?” she screeches.
“Their names are Dimitris and Yiannis were their names. One of them has a garage band. Well, I’m sure they are wildly unprepared and highly unsuitable. I mean, the crowds will be in the low hundred thousands in most European arenas, let alone the security details and the paparazzi and…”
“Isaiah, stop. What are you…?” She looks dizzy. But at least she called me by my name for once, so that’s nice.
I pause to take a breath. I think I’ve scared her enough. But deep down, I mean every word I’m saying. And she knows it too.
“As I said, if I break up my contract with you, I’m pretty much left with no options,” I tell her. “But even so, I’ll do it.”
“But… why? What happened?”
What happened? Is she really asking me that right now? Disbelief makes me stiff with anger.
“Someone nearly died!” I scream. I did not mean to scream it. It just came out.
Maybe until this moment I hadn’t realized how truly scared I’d been that day at the falls. How close I came to losing Eden again. I know the feeling, I’ve felt it before. It’s vicious.
“Someone nearly died, Lou,” I repeat. This time it’s a hiss. I need to repeat it until it gets through her head. “It was your fault. And your dog, he nearly drowned. I’m not trusting you around Pooh ever again. Who… Who would be that cruel to a little animal?”
“I…” she’s speechless for once.
“I mean, I know you, Lou. You’re not that cruel. Maybe it’s those girlfriends that follow you around and make you do these crazy things… Maybe you think you have to pretend to be this different person around them to impress them. Trust me, I’ve been there. I still am there, actually. But I…”
And… she’s crying.
I stop short. “Lou…” I didn’t mean to make her cry.
“I don’t want to be like this,” she hiccups. I grab a towel and hand it to her to blow her nose in. “I know exactly what you’re talking about, Isaiah, ok? I knew it as I was doing it. Pooh, and Eden jumping in after him…”
“You called her my servant,” I say, loathing the word as it comes out of my mouth.
Lou is nodding.
“I know I did. I did it on purpose, to sound superior,” she says, taking me by surprise. “I try to make it look like it’s spontaneous, but I prepare my reactions in advance. It is so exhausting, you have no idea.” Oh, I have an idea. “It’s all planned. Acting this way, and treating people like crap, and calling you ‘babe’ when others can hear me.”
“And when they can’t.”
