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There are these defying moments in everyone’s lives, those intense few seconds, or even less, when you have to make a decision with your heart, quicker than your brain is able to process things.
And in those milliseconds, your heart makes up your mind for you.
Your heart knows.
Well, it always has known, it’s just that now you know too.
Your stupid, stupid brain catches up.
The day my father died, that was the day that my heart stopped believing in God.
Two years later, when I was almost eighteen, the girl I had given my heart to, left me without a word of warning or explanation. That was the day that my heart stopped beating.
And now, four years after that, this is what my heart does: It tells me to jump.
I am standing on the edge of a cliff, in one of the most beautiful places in the world. But my heart is racing, my stomach is churning and cold sweat drenches the back of my neck. I look down. Ten meters or more of solid, jagged-sharp rocks and then a glittering emerald pool of water at the bottom.
And also, she. She is at the bottom, in the water. In danger.
She.
The girl whose name I can’t even mention in my own private thoughts, or it will destroy me, the girl who ripped out my heart and ruined my life.
That girl.
In the water. Ten meters below the cliffs. And that’s when I know it.
My body hits the cold, freezing water. It’s hard and solid like cement, and pain shoots up my entire body as the breath catches in my throat.
And then there’s nothing.
