AllFreeNovel
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As young children when bored in wintertime, my siblings and I would race from the upstairs front corner of the house and through every part of the sprawling home until tagging the back wall of the barn, our breath fogging in front of our faces, the scent of cow and pig shit filling our noses.
Memories of those easier days when no responsibilities lay over any of us made an achy warmth spread through my chest.With five bedrooms and a finished basement, the house had plenty of space for the entire Roberts clan to crash and reminisce together.
As usual, I was the last man to arrive.
I hadn’t called ahead to let my parents know what time I would show up because with how all of us rose earlier than the sun—nieces and nephews included—they would be fine with my getting there before the normal nine o’clock breakfast tradition we’d had for years.
The second I parked alongside my brother’s minivan on our parents’ driveway, the house’s door pulled inward, and people began to spill out onto the porch.Kids jostled each other down the stairs, shrieking and laughing.
“Uncle!”voices hollered, filling me up with the kind of happiness I’d been needing.
Grinning like a fool, I hopped from my SUV and eyed the nine children headed my way.My oldest nephew, Brian, reached me first, a spitting image of me at fifteen with dark hair and hazel eyes.
He threw his arms around me and hugged me tight, and not for the first time, I thanked whatever God there might be that Brian had never gone through the hormonaldon’t touch mephase most teenage guys did.
Brian stood near my six-two height, and although he’d filled out a bit since shooting up the summer before, he still had a long way to reach my muscle mass.
“Still lifting?”I asked, slapping his back.
“You know it.”He stepped away, grinning while the younger kids swarmed around me, some hanging on my legs, others trying to hug whatever body part they could grasp hold of.
Chuckling, I ruffled Brian’s hair.“Can’t wait to see you on the field this fall.”
His face flushed.“Unless some freshman shows up with a better arm, I’ll be starting as quarterback this year.”
“Damn right you will!”
I relented to the needy hands of those smaller than Brian and knelt to offer love all around to the rest of the Roberts grandkids.
A million questions shot out, the kids especially asking about goodies I usually gifted to everyone when I visited, mainly candy, and I promised I’d brought along the normal smorgasbord they could share—after breakfast.
Mom stood at the top of the stairs, Dad to her right.She’d gone fully gray but didn’t look a year over sixty.Dad’s shoulders had yet to stoop, his hazel-green eyes I’d inherited as sharp as ever.
Glancing at my siblings with their spouses, a strange pang shot through my chest.Xavier’s cheating had emptied me to the point I merely existed with no one to call my own like they all had.
My oldest sister Sarah had Fred behind her, his arms wrapped around her waist.My brother Jacob and his wife Amy held hands, connected physically as always.My baby sister Suzi looked like a beached whale ready to pop for the third time in three years thanks to her husband Donnie and his determined swimmers.None of their kids had been planned, but they couldn’t be happier as evidenced by the glow on both their faces.
Then there was me.
Single as fuck because the one person I’d finally found and considered worthy of settling down with went out and sat on a dick that satisfied him more than the idea of mine.
I forced my faltering grin back into place and climbed the porch stairs.
“Happy birthday, Mom.”I wrapped her up in my arms, my nose filling with the scent of vanilla and spices.“Tell me someone else made the cinnamon roll cake this year,” I said before kissing her cheek.
She squeezed my hand, her eyes bright with happiness.“The day I let your father into my domain is the day I’m six feet under.”
“Don’t talk like that,” I muttered and gave my dad a side hug.
“Welcome home, son.”He patted my back, and I moved on to greet my siblings.
With how everyone loved on me, it was like I only got to the farm once a year.
It had only been two months since I’d last seen them all for Dad’s birthday breakfast, but I wouldn’t complain about the abundance of affection shown among us.There had never been a lack of physical touch, and while we were normal like every other family with bickering, misunderstandings, and grudges here and there, love was our foundation built by Mom and Dad.
I counted my blessings while we trampled inside and out of the July humidity, telling myself that Iwasn’talone.That I was loved—and deserved every bit of it too.But sitting down at my parents’ massive dining room table and listening to the younger kids crowded around the kitchen table through the archway made my chest ache for more.
Don’t even go there.Just enjoy the free cock and balls, and live happily ever after without all the angst and bullshit relationships bring.
