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Mom caught my eye, her sad smile hitting me hard.She was aware I still hurt—always had that sixth sense when her children suffered.
I forced my lips upward, attempting to put her mind at ease like I did whenever my thoughts overran with the asshole who’d torn apart my heart.“I’m good,” I mouthed her way.
Her steady gaze told me she didn’t believe me.
I struggled to convince myself too.
Chapter2
JJ
“Move your hairy ass.”
I burrowed my face into Alex’s neck, hating that not a hint of intimacy lingered in his tone.“Just one more minute,” I begged, every muscle in my naked body draped over his exhausted from our fucking.
“Seriously, JJ, you’re squishing me,” he added, tapping at my shoulder to get me to move off him.“Can’t.Breathe.”
I only had maybe twenty pounds on Alex, the fucking liar.
Heaving a sigh, I kissed his sweaty skin and tried to stay in the euphoric feeling from a moment before.My semi still lodged in his ass, his heels on the backs of my thighs, and his cum smeared between our abs.Heaven on fucking earth.My escape.
“You can have your freedom,” I finally spoke, hiding the disappointment from my voice as usual.Alex hated to cuddle.He came over and got off.Nothing more, nothing less.
My best friend shifted a bit to kiss my forehead while ruffling my hair.“You’re so good to me.”
“I would do anything for you,” I reminded him needlessly.
We’d had the same conversation countless times in our ten-plus years of being lovers, and while Alex filled a hole in my life, he wasn’t aware of the full scope of my feelings for him.
We’d been friends since childhood when I’d had no family but a mother who worked around the clock to provide for us.I’d seen Alex through his drug addiction after college, helped him get clean, and soaked up his undying thankfulness.I’d also stood beside him on his wedding day, my heart breaking as he spoke vows to the person I’d dreamed of being.
I’d hinted at wanting more in the early days of hooking up when we were both single, but he’d laughed me off.Told me he would never settle down.
Then he’d met Teresa, and any hopes I’d held onto had been shattered like fine china against a brick wall.
But with him being the love of my life, what could I do but continue to support him?Alex claimed that were it not for me, he wouldn’t have his wife and their two boys.
Unrequited feelings hurt like fuck, but I always put him first because that was what love did.
Lucky for both of us, his wife was also bisexual and had insisted on an open relationship prior to their marriage.She had a girlfriend, and Alex was free to fuck around with guys when the mood struck for a little rough sex.While his wife was aware of our hooking up, we didn’t have an intimate connection outside sex—his wishes, definitely not mine.
And ever since our first drunken, sexual encounter, I’d been a goner.Lost in love and lust for the heart of the one man I could never have.Alex had a hold on me that bordered on obsession, and he oftentimes exploited my loyalty.
But I never complained.Having Alex all up in my space one night every weekend kept loneliness at bay since I had no other family to speak of.His presence filled up the silence in my house that welcomed me home every evening after slaving away for the city of Boston.
Thoughts of work trickled back into my satiated brain, and I shifted completely off Alex, holding onto the condom as I slid from his warm, wet hole.
He grimaced.“Fuck.”
“Yeah, lover.”I kissed his chest before settling onto my haunches.“I know.”
Alex fingered his ass, soothing the gape I’d left behind after fucking him hard and deep, exactly as he’d begged for.“You weren’t kidding about needing release,” he muttered with a chuckle.
I rid my dick of the condom, tied it off, and nudged his thigh with more force than necessary.“Shower.”
He grumbled and rolled, burying his face in my pillow.Fucker loved my bed but hated snuggling or anything that suggested intimacy outside physical release.“Don’t wanna.”
I slapped his ass cheek.“Then go home and crawl into your bed smelling like sweat and cum.”
