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I needed one hundred and ten percent.No more of this partial shit that allowed room for others to weasel their way into a relationship of mine.
We washed up the dinner things side by side, our shoulders brushing.Every soft touch zinged need straight to my groin, and my entire body ached to be held.I managed to keep my hands to myself.Thank fuck he did the same, or I would have caved for sure.
He picked up his bag and eyed me after pulling his boots on from where he’d left them by the front door.“I’ll be seeing you, Kellen Roberts.And I’ll be in touch once I have things settled—I promise.”
Not a goodbye.
I nodded, and he turned, leaving me with the snick of the latch ringing in my ears.
The stillness, the lack of…himall up in my space proved too much after the sound of his car faded away on the gravel road.I grabbed a change of clothes, turned the heat on a low setting to ensure the pipes wouldn’t freeze once the fire burned out, and hopped in my SUV.
Mom was thrilled to see me when I walked into the farmhouse unannounced a short while later.She hugged me tight in the exact way I’d been needing but hadn’t allowed myself with JJ.
I flopped onto the couch beside her, Dad in his chair across from us.
“Well?”Mom turned slightly, her full attention on me.
“Well what?”I asked even though I was fully aware of what she wanted to hear.
She waited, and her brow started to furrow.I chuckled, knowing right where her mind went.
“I haven’t decided yet if I’m happy you told JJ where to find me or not.”
“Well?”she pushed.
“He arrived.Apologized.”
“And?”
“He left for Boston about an hour ago.”
Mom threw her hands up.“Damn him!”
I laughed at mom’s idea of a swear, feeling lighter than I had in a while.“He had to go back for work.But things are…okay between us, I guess.There’s no clear definition.”I shrugged, hating I had no control over the situation or how my heart longed for a man I didn’t want to share.“I’m not sure if there ever will be.He’s got this friend…”
Mom raised an eyebrow, so I spilled everything that had happened since I’d met JJ.Other than the hottest sex of my life, I shared it all.How I’d reached out to him after learning about Xavier and Teddy and had fallen in deep.The real interest JJ had shown in me, the words he’d said that made me sure we had more than lust between us.
“What do you think I should do?”I asked once I finished up telling them about the two days together up at the camp—without the part about how he’d used his tongue to clean up my cum.
“That’s not our call, son,” Dad answered first.“We love having you close to home, but if your heart is pushing to offer that man a chance, then give it a shot.What can it hurt?”
I’d experienced enoughhurtfor a lifetime thank you very much, but I understood what Dad was saying.
“Mom?”I turned to find her studying me intently.“What?”I asked, suddenly feeling like I’d been caught doing something I wasn’t supposed to.
“You’re already in love with him.”
Fuck, I hated how she stated shit that I hadn’t yet figured out was true.I didn’t argue but considered her suggestion.Fallen, definitely.But in love?I wasn’t so sure I’d allowed my walls down enough for him to burrow in that deeply.
“You won’t know if you don’t try,” she stated her usual encouragement.“One step at a time.”Mom patted my hand, reminding me JJ said similar words to me more than once.
Such a methodical man.Nosey as fuck.Annoyingly gorgeous.
“You’re quitting Elite regardless, I’m assuming?”Mom asked, and I nodded.
“Yeah—I’ll call Sean in a bit.”
“I think you should do what Dad suggested.Head south.Be patient with JJ while he catches up with work and sets things straight with Alex.Then give him a chance when he does finally get in touch with you.
