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I hoped.
A pile of mail lay on my table thanks to the neighbor I’d had checking on my apartment, but I ignored it, dropped my two bags, kicked off my wet shoes on the mat, and headed straight to bed.
I slept in, waking peacefully in knowing I’d made the right decision in taking matters into my own hands.But while lazing around, shuffling through my mail over a second cup of coffee, the local news replay caught my attention from the TV I had on low.
Alex Berset, I heard the reporter say in a list of others being placed under arrest.
A unique name, I’d thought when JJ had first told me about him, so it had stuck in my brain.
I turned up the volume, standing in front of my TV with steaming mug in hand, but only caught the tail end of the earlier-recorded report about a drug raid in Lynn.Remembering I could rewind live TV, I quickly rewound to the beginning of the story.
One of the men in cuffs and being shoved into the back of a cop car was blond and looked a lot like the guy who’d been with JJ at the dance club months earlier.
The reporter listed the arrested men’s names again—Alex Berset being the last one mentioned.
No fucking way there were two assholes with that name in the Boston area with the same height, build, and haircut.
Was that the reason JJ hadn’t called or texted in close to a week?He’d been busy with court until the day before, but obviously shit wasn’t going well on the best friend and his family front.
A knot formed in my gut, all the dreaming I’d been doing fading away to leave an emptiness behind.Alex’s arrest would mean JJ’s plans to go their separate ways would be set aside yet again.
I wanted to call JJ immediately, find out where the fuck we stood—but fear continued to creep in along the edges of my thoughts.I needed to protect myself.
JJ had recounted his connection with Alex directly to me.He’d shared a shit ton about their relationship, how he’d been manipulated for years, his loyalty being taken advantage of.Even if he hadn’t yet broken things off with Alex yet, Teresa and the kids would need JJ’s support to see them through the upcoming days.
Alex had been arrested and would probably face charges since with his background there was no way he was simply an innocent bystander who got caught up in the bust.
Whatever JJ thought he might want with me would be set aside yet again for others he saw as a responsibility above me.
Thanksgiving together sure as fuck wouldn’t be happening.
Coming back was a mistake.
All the good feelings I’d been having since the day before melted away like the ice with the sunrise earlier that morning.
I was done with not being a priority and being second choice.
I would spend the day in Boston, maybe have lunch with Mason and Jasper if they were available to celebrate the guilty verdict.Rent a trailer to haul with my SUV and pack up all my shit.On Wednesday, I would do some early Christmas shopping, since Nodhead Falls didn’t have the kinds of stores in town like the bigger city malls, and then I would return to Maine for good.
There was nothing worth staying for in a city that didn’t feel like home.If JJ ever got his head out of his ass and was serious about pursuing something real with me, with Alex nothing but smoke in his life’s rearview, he knew where to find me.
But I was done waiting, putting my life on hold for him to make up his goddamned mind and communicate.
I had to choose formyself—and that was heading to the woods where I belonged.With people who would have my back, be there when they promised.My family made me feel as though my existence in their life had true meaning, and they would be enough.
Chapter30
JJ
Iwent to work at Teresa’s insistence on Tuesday.There was nothing else I could do, and I fucking hated the helpless feeling.My hands were as tied as hers.I did, however, offer her the name of a defense attorney since Alex was definitely going to need one.I told her to get in touch with him and explain what had happened.
And if Alex didn’t have money in the bank to afford the guy—which I suspected—I promised to help with the lawyer’s costs.
But not for Alex.
I was done with his ass even if he’d never gotten my text from the night before while he’d been cooking up meth or bagging that shit up to sell.
What I’d offered, how I would sacrifice yet again, was only for those boys who were going to be without a father for a while.The empathy was almost unbearable.My chest fucking ached for those two innocent munchkins who didn’t deserve the kind of childhood I’d endured.
