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A call came through my cell while I sat buried in work at my desk but unable to concentrate.It was a number I didn’t recognize, but as a detective, I always answered.
“Detective Jenner.”
“JJ.”The relief in Alex’s voice sagged my shoulders.
There was no way he’d been released already—his arraignment was set for two that afternoon.
“I have one call,” he said, his voice shaky with wry laughter, “so I figured I’d better get in touch with the only man I know I can count on to help me out.”
Fuck.
I pinched the bridge of my nose.“I’m not a lawyer, Alex.”
“But you’ll take care of everything until they realize I didn’t do anything.I’m innocent!”
As if I would believe that considering how shady he’d been, the same behavior I’d seen before years earlier.
“I gave Teresa the name and number of a lawyer, but I’m done.”
“What…” An incredulous gasp stilted his question.“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
“I’ve been holding your hand for years,” I stated, my heart breaking even though I needed to finally let him go and move on.“And you’ve taken advantage of me—”
“I have not!”
“—manipulated me.You have!”I insisted.“Time and again, I’ve laid down my life for you and your family.I never even got a thank you.Repaying that kind of self-sacrifice with blow jobs and sex isn’t enough anymore.You can’t give me what I need, what I’ve wanted the last ten years, and I was a fool to stick around as long as I did.”
“What are you saying, JJ?”he asked, his tone low.
“That I’ve loved you for too long, but I’ve found someone new who treats me better than you ever did.I’m done being your fuck buddy, the man you’ve strung along.It was unfair for me to never tell you the truth about my feelings for you, but I thought it would be enough to just be near you—a part of your life.But it’s not anymore.I can’t trust you—Idon’ttrust you to make the right decision for me, your family, or even yourself.You’ve fucked up again, but this time you’re going to have the pay the consequences on your own.”
“You can’t do this to me, JJ!”
“You did this to yourself.”I struggled to get the words out.
“Some fucking friend you are,” he snipped, and remembering the tirades he’d spewed when going through withdrawal, I pulled the cell from my ear and pressed the end button, cutting his rising voice off mid-sentence.
It was done for real.Saved by the fact he was behind bars and wouldn’t be able to nag me into helping him find answers to his problems.
I’d expected relief, but only grief pressed on my chest.How long would I mourn the friend I’d lost with bitter parting words?I hadn’t considered Alex to be my lover for months.That title belonged to another man who’d been incredibly patient, not even nagging me for an update.
And I would see him soon.
Once I was able to leave the office that evening, I headed to Alex’s to meet with Teresa to help get them settled first before I left for the holiday weekend.
Alex’s arraignment had taken place, and he wasn’t going anywhere before his court date, which was set for mid-December, a few weeks away.Until then, he would remain behind bars without bail due to the amount of drugs found, illegal gun possession, and the fact a police officer still lay in critical condition without a way of knowing which of the six men arrested had fired the shots.
Teresa let me in, but rather than appearing teary-eyed like I’d expected, her face was a pale rock.I could tell by the look in her eyes that she was finished with Alex’s bullshit, same as me.She adored her boys, and they would come first.
“I’m going to my parents in Jersey,” she said the second I shut the door behind me.
Alex hated her family and had always looked for excuses to get out of going to see them.
“What can I do to help?”I asked, blowing an exhale into my cupped hands to warm them as we stood in the entryway.The temperatures had dropped drastically with the sunset.
“Nothing.”She gathered her cardigan around her center but didn’t move from the doorway where the cold lingered from her having opened the door to let me in.
I took that as a clear indication she didn’t want me coming into her house and possibly upsetting the quiet stillness that seemed to hover beneath the roof.
