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I grin at Heidi. “Okay, I’ll even tailor the jokes to you. You’re a primary-school teacher, right? Why did the student do multiplication problems on the floor?”
“I don’t know.”
“Because his teacher told him not to use tables.”
She meets my gaze, but manages to keep a straight face. Then she shakes her head, lifts her hand, and beckons to me to remove a piece of clothing.
“Really?” I feel an impending sense of doom. “The very first joke?”
“Get ’em off, Winters.”
They all laugh and whoop.
Ah shit. I didn’t think this through. I thought they’d play along. That was a stupid mistake. They’re really going to make me strip.
Mumbling to myself, I toe off one shoe and push it away.
“Give me another joke,” Heidi yells.
“It’s my game,” I tell them, “I make the rules,” but someone yells, “Chicken!” so I blow out a breath and stick with Heidi. “Okay. Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay, they’d be bagels.”
Against her will, she gives a short laugh, then says, “Dammit.”
I smirk and have a mouthful of whisky.
“That’s not a teacher joke,” she complains.
“Hey, I’ve got the whole audience to get through, and I’m not wearing that many clothes. I’m going to use every trick at my disposal.” I walk along the stage a little and gesture at Catie. Saxon’s girl is quiet and shy, but she’s a terrific computer programmer, and we’ve talked a lot about coding.
“Catie,” I say. “Here we go. An SQL query goes into a bar, walks up to two tables, and asks, ‘Can I join you?’”
She gives a peal of laughter, and the others all say, “Aw, Catie!”
“It was funny!” she protests, still laughing, and gives me a clap. “Nice one.”
I grin and move on to the next girl. “Alice in Wonderland.”
She folds her arms and raises an eyebrow. Kip’s girl does podcasts where she interviews science fiction and fantasy authors. I listen to her every week, and we’ve often talked about books we’re reading.
“How many ears does Captain Picard have?” I ask. “Three. A left ear, a right ear, and a final front ear.”
She bites her bottom lip, shakes her head, and flicks her fingers at me.
“Ah, damn.” I toe off my other shoe as they all cheer. “All right,” I say, moving my shoes aside. “Round two. How did Darth Vader know what Luke was getting for Christmas? He felt Luke’s presents.”
That makes her laugh, and she curses herself, but gives me a clap.
With a grin, I move on. “Sidnie. Hmm.” I remember her maiden name and give her a mischievous look. “A clean beaver always gets more wood.”
She laughs immediately, then yells, “Aw, that was below the belt, literally!”
“Hey, whatever works.” I move to the left and point at Juliette. “Your turn.”
She gives me a challenging gaze. “Do your best.”
“Okay. Physio jokes. Hmm. I had a patient come in complaining about lower leg pain. I told them it’s going tibia okay.”
“Not even close,” she says, and beckons at me.
