AllFreeNovel
Share Us
She shakes her head, flicks her fingers.
I glare at her, then, grumbling, remove my second cufflink, and put it on the table. I study her for a moment as I sift through some jokes in my head. She lifts her eyebrows.
“Two chemists go into a bar,” I say. “The first one says, ‘I think I’ll have an H2O.’ The second one says, ‘I think I’ll have an H2O too.’ And then he died.”
She snorts a laugh, then yells, “Dammit!”
“H2O2is hydrogen peroxide,” I explain to the rest of the crowd, and they all chuckle as I have another mouthful of whisky.
“Okay,” I say, putting my glass down, “Belle. What’s the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo? A gigolo only screws one person at a time.”
“A lawyer joke?” she complains. “Alex, seriously?”
I blow out a breath and look down at myself. I slide off my tiepin and put it on the table. Belle has recently qualified as a lawyer, but her first love is magic, and she’s very good at it.
“Right. ‘What’s your father’s occupation?’ the schoolteacher asked. ‘He’s a magician,’ Jack said. ‘How interesting. What’s his favorite trick?’ the teacher asked. ‘He saws people in half,’ Jack answered. ‘Wow! That must be amazing to watch,’ the teacher said. ‘Do you have any siblings?’ And Jack said, ‘One half brother and two half sisters.’”
Belle laughs. “Yeah, okay,” she says. “That was pretty funny.”
I chuckle and turn to the young woman next to her. She’s watching me, a small smile on her face. “Ah, Missie.” I say. “Oh light of my life. My beautiful baby girl.”
Everyone whistles, and she blows me a kiss. Man, she’s so fucking gorgeous. She’ll be good to me, right?
“Missie’s an artist. Sweetheart, if you’re ever sad, I’ll let you draw things on my body. I’ll give you a shoulder to crayon.”
To my surprise, she doesn’t laugh. Like Elizabeth did, she folds her arms, shakes her head, then beckons at me, and it’s only then that it dawns on me.
“Ah, no. You’re going to make me strip naked, aren’t you?”
She nods, and everyone cheers and whistles.
“Ah, shit.” I take out my pocket square and toss it on the table. I’m running out of non-clothing things to take off.
“Tell her some rude jokes!” one of the girls yells.
“Rude jokes?” My lips curve up. “How rude?”
“The rudest ones you know!” Sidnie calls.
I scratch my head. “Rude but respectful,” I mumble, giving them a wry look as they all giggle. This is a totally different audience from a group of guys. There’s no way I can reveal half of my repertoire.
I’m conscious of the crowd growing as the guys who aren’t taking part in the next entertainment and some of the staff join at the back. Great. Everyone’s going to be here to watch my humiliation. Oh well. Serves me right for thinking I was good at this.
“Okay.” I have a swig of whisky. “What does a guy call receiving oral while eating a steak?”
She shakes her head.
“Fellatio Mignon.”
The others laugh, but she shakes her head and flicks her fingers.
Mumbling, I slide the end of my tie out of the knot, then remove it and drop it onto the rapidly growing pile of clothes.
I study her for a moment, wincing as I undo the tight top button of my shirt. She winks at me.
“I saw a dildo the other day described as ‘nine inches long and realistic.’ I thought, well, which is it?”
Catie gives a peal of laughter and the others all join in, but Missie shakes her head and flicks her fingers.
