AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Winslow’s opens in the morning as usual, so it’s all hands on deck. Too bad the time between now and tomorrow gives me way too much time to focus on Roman.
I spend the afternoon tackling the box of snarled Christmas lights. They’re a mess, almost not worth the time, but at least keeping my hands busy takes my mind off Roman. I’m heartbroken, and if I’m honest, feeling a little sorry for myself. I want to believe he isn’t like every other guy on the planet–out for his own pleasure and nothing more. But dammit, I thought we shared more than bodily fluids.
At least, it felt like more.
I wind the untangled lights onto a large spool and set them aside while I put on a kettle of water for tea. Though I know better than to take another walk down memory lane, I grab the photo album Blake and I flipped through by firelight and snuggle into the pillow and blanket palate where we spent numerous hours exploring each other’s bodies. A pang strikes my heart as I open the page where we left off.
I laid bare my greatest confession into the world, opening myself to either the most incredible experience of my life or devastating heartache. It seems I’ve achieved both. I’m either overly ambitious or off my rocker for thinking a seasoned man like Roman could ever see me for anything other than a pesky tagalong or, worse, a conquest to etch into his tool belt. Maybe vowing to embrace my inner naughty elf wasn’t a great idea after all.
A high-pitched, steady whistle slowly gains momentum in the kitchen, signaling my tea water is ready. I set the photo album aside and push myself up from the floor to make my tea. A distinct sharp crack echoes in the living room. I pause in the doorway and notice a thick, white burst of snow sticking to the glass.
The tea kettle distracts me with its persistent shrill. I turn off the heat and set it aside as another muffled splat hits the living room window. I step into the room to investigate, finding a splotch of watery snow as it slides down the glass. Another snowball hits the window at eye level this time. I flinch, but not before catching sight of Roman standing in the distance.
We make eye contact, allowing hope and relief to briefly rise from the depths of my dreary state. Roman playfully tosses a snowball and motions for me to come outside. If he thinks one of his teenage pranks is appropriate for a time like this, he’s got another thing coming. I move from the window and open the door cautiously.
Roman stands at the bottom of the steps with his hands buried in his jacket pockets, looking as handsome as the day is long. He still sports a day’s growth of facial hair and the sexiest grin I’ve ever seen.
“What are you doing here?” I pull my sweater tightly around my body, hating that I feel so vulnerable. “I thought we ran out of time.”
“You have every reason to be angry with me for how I cut out of here earlier.” He raises a hand to the back of his head, feathering fingers through his thick hair. “But there’s something I need to say...something I need to confess to you.”
Mums the word, he said. He regrets last night, me, everything. I gave him an out from the beginning, and he’s taking it.
***
Roman
“It’s fine. I’m fine.” Bea shrinks inside her oversized sweater. “We shouldn’t have...”
Her head moves ever so slightly as disappointment filters across her face. The glimmer that usually radiates from her eyes and smile dies as she seems to peer through me into the void. I grab the handrail and quickly mount the steps. Bea steps away from me into the house with her hand poised to close the door. Her dismissal of me strikes a soul-crushing blow to my heart.
“Bea, wait. That isn’t what I want.” I cross the porch as quickly as possible to get to her before she shuts me out completely. “Please, give me a chance. I can’t lose you.”
Her gaze meets mine, focusing once again rather than tuning me out. There’s hope or at least a reasonable chance she’ll hear me out.
“I don’t want to lose you either, but I won’t be your dirty little secret, Roman.” Bea straightens her shoulders and lifts her chin. “I won’t tell a soul what happened, but I won’t sneak around like I’m doing something shameful.”
The hurt and conviction in her voice strikes me to the core. Trying to keep Blake in the dark this morning didn’t have the effect intended.
“I never meant to hurt you, Bea. I thought I was protecting you from an uncomfortable situation.” My shoulders sag. I blew my chance with the woman who’s always been a constant in my life. “I don’t know how I fit into your life, Bea. We haven’t had time to talk about the repercussions of last night. The last thing I want is Blake holding you accountable for something you’d regret.Your time with me.I don’t want you to wake up someday thinking you missed out on a better life because you chose me over someone younger, smarter, and better off financially. I want you to have everything you want.”
“You are everything I want, Roman.All I ever wanted.If you or Blake had stopped for a second to ask me what I want rather than tell me what I need, you’d know that already.” Her voice carries on a shallow whisper. “Do you regret last night?”
“Only that I hurt you.”
I step closer to the threshold, wary that she might still bar me from touching her. I hold my hand out, offering my palm and hoping to high heaven she accepts it. She eyes it tentatively, then loosens the grip on her sweater. My body comes to life when she slides her fingers across my palm. If nothing else, Bea’s gifted me a chance.
“My life is an empty shell without you in it. You’re my constant, my family.” I wrap my fingers around hers. My heart thunders as my body tenses. Bea’s everything I never knew I wanted or needed. There’s no future without her in it. “The girl who sassed me, kept me on my toes, and out of trouble became a woman I couldn’t ignore. I don’t know how or when it happened, but you captured my heart, and it’s refused to love another ever since.”
Her nose roses as her eyes begin to glisten. “You love me?”
“I do, Bea.” I wrap an arm around her waist and close the distance between us. “I thought I was looking out for you all these years, but it turns out you’ve been saving me from myself all along. I love you, Honey Bea.”
“What about Blake?” Her words warm against my lips.
“We’ll tell him together.” I’ll spend the rest of my life making sure Bea’s a happy woman or die trying. “If I’m not treating you right, Blake has every right to pound my sorry ass, but that’s never going to happen.”
Bea’s hand snakes up my chest. Her fingers glide over my stubbled jaw and feather into the hair at my nape. She pulls me closer, our lips a hair's breadth apart. She gazes up at me with eyes glistening.
