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"Aye, cheers."
My chat with Alex has convinced me I do need to talk to Hugh. He lives down there in England where the British Branch of the American Wives Club is "mobilizing."Iasg is feòil. No, I won't growl that to those women when and if they turn up in Scotland. They wouldn't understand it, especially if I told them the phrase means "fish and flesh." Curses aren't meant to be literal. But I might swear at Jack when I see him again because this must be his fault somehow.
"Greetings from Sommerleigh House," Hugh says when I ring him. "How is bonnie Scotland?"
"Cloudy. You're at home today? Thought you swore you'd only go back there for Christmas, Boxing Day, and New Year's. 'I love London and hate the country,' that's what you said."
"Yes, but it's more convenient to stay here for a day or two. Ben and Sam are having a do at their house tomorrow, and his wife is dying to meet me."
I snort. "Aye, I'm sure Sam will fall at your feet and beg you to shag her. She's married, ye erse."
"You're in a mood today. When you can't handle my humor, I know there's trouble brewing."
"Aye, there is." I drop onto an armchair, one of four arrayed around the living room in this bloody enormous apartment. "Jack sent me to physical therapy in Inverness, but he didn't warn me I'd be getting psychotherapy too. It's a package deal—physical and mental torture simultaneously."
"A therapist who does the body and the mind? Can't picture you submitting to either one."
"I have no choice. Jack paid for it—in advance. No refunds."
"Blimey. You must be in hell."
Aye, I can always count on Hugh to be on my side. "I'm meant to suffer through a month of thrice-weekly torture sessions."
"Must take a very brawny chap to keep you in line."
I squirm in my seat, wincing though Hugh can't see that. "My therapist is a bossy lass who scolded me for riding my Harley."
"Bossylass?" He chuckles. "She must be one sexy bird to get you tied up in knots."
"Kate is a she-demon."
Hugh laughs louder this time. "Poor Callum. A luscious lass is laying her hands on you three times a week. Most men would love that, but you make it sound like a life sentence in hell."
"Ye havenae met Kate, so ye donnae know what you're on about."
"That's true. Maybe I should come for a visit and meet the she-demon. Can't let my best mate suffer alone."
I groan. "You want to come here so you can have a poke with her."
"Well, if you don't like her…"
"She might be married, you know. Maybe that's why she acts like such a shrew."
"Oh, I must meet his woman immediately."
My conversation with Alex resurfaces in my mind, and I decide telling Hugh about the invasion is the best way to change the subject. "It gets worse. The American Wives Club is mobilizing to interfere in my life, and the British Branch wants to invade Scotland."
"Do they? This sounds more intriguing by the second." He switches to an overly dramatic voice. "I definitely need to rush up there to save my best mate from a meddling campaign. Lord Sommerleigh to the rescue, eh?"
"I donnae need rescuing. But maybe I wouldn't mind having one person on my side."
"Brilliant. I'll be there the day after tomorrow. Can't miss Ben and Sam's party."
"No rush. It'll take time for those lasses to get mobilized."
"You don't understand women at all, do you?"
He could be right about that.
