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I wake up in an emergency room bed. Christie is sitting next to me, and the doctor is standing in front of me. “Lily? How are you feeling?” The doctor asks, while flipping through my chart.
“I’m ok. A little nauseous, but I am ok.”
“That’s great to hear. We have you hooked up to an IV bag of fluids, so that should help tremendously. You were severely dehydrated….and also–”
She trails off, and opens the chart in one particular spot.
“We were able to retrieve a blood sample and a urine sample. The tests came back as positive for pregnancy.”
The room goes silent as I look up at the doctor in disbelief, as I can’t believe the words that just came out of her mouth.
“I’m sorry…What?”
“You are going to have a baby, Ms. Sanders. I am guessing by your reaction, this was unexpected?”
“No. It was not expected at all. How is this possible? I am on birth control?” I say, still not able to process what is happening.
“Well, did you forget to take a few of the pills? You’ve been busy the past several weeks with work and your business trip to Paris. Did you forget?” Christie interjects, with a scowl of shock and worry on her face.
“Shit! I must have skipped a few. I completely lost track. Oh fuck Christie! What have I done to myself?” I exclaim, still trying to grasp the truth.
“Well, unfortunately, if you skip doses or are inconsistent, the efficacy of the pill can become null and void. It also depends on what stage of the hormonal cycle that your body is on during the time of insemination. So many factors can come together..” The doctor says while writing more copious notes in my chart. The action makes me even more stressed.
“Here are some pamphlets and information about prenatal care. I have written you a prescription for a few supplements you should begin taking as soon as possible. Also here is my office number. Let’s get you set up with your first check up next week.” The doctor hands me the paperwork, and makes her way towards the door.
“It is very important that you take care of yourself, Ms. Sanders. We will discuss more in detail when you come to my office.”
“Thank you Doctor.” I say, still in shock.
I squeeze Christie’s hands as I try to make sense of it all. “Why can’t I do anything right? How could I have been so stupid? Look at this mess I have gotten myself into.” I say, as tears begin to fall from my eyes.
“Hey now, it wasn’t justyouwho got you into this mess.” Why didn’t Liam use a condom?
“Because I told him I was on the pill, and everything was cool.” I try to calm myself, as I can feel a panic attack coming on.
“He’s gonna freak out when I tell him.” I say, dreading the thought.
* * *
The very next morning, I arrive at the gallery with the weight of the world on my shoulders. I still can’t believe it. I’m pregnant. I don’t know whether to be excited or scared. Excited because this could finally be the push that helps Liam make up his mind about us and decide to commit. Scared because it may just scare him away altogether. Committing to just me is already a problem, add a baby to that and he just might go into hiding.
I stand in front of his office with my hand on the door handle and my thoughts running a thousand miles an hour. I don’t even hear when Liam walks up behind me until he speaks.“You need some help?”I almost jump out of my skin at the sound of his voice, but relax once I realize who it is.
His voice is deep and soothing, reminding me of home.“You alright there? Did I startle you?”When I don’t respond immediately, he takes my face gently between his hands. I turn toward his touch and smile sheepishly up at him.“Kind of. But it’s fine now. I’ve missed you.”I say quickly.He smiles softly down at me and gives me one of those kisses I’m addicted to–ones full of love, affection, adoration, and reassurance. It takes every ounce of willpower not to throw myself at him and wrap my arms around his neck. We stay like that for a few moments, enjoying being close to each other again before we break apart.
“Can we go in now or do you want to stand here staring at the door for a little longer?”He asks in his usual joking tone. I laugh and shake my head.
“I want to stare at you if you don’t mind.”
“On the contrary, I don’t. But I think you can catch a better view of me in my office.”He winks at me and I blush bright red before leading the way to his office, feeling giddy and happy, all worries from a moment ago gone in a flash. I sit on the couch across the room from his desk as he closes the door and comes to sit beside me.“How have you been?”He asks.
“Not good. You didn’t call or text all weekend, no fair.”
“You said you needed some time with your friend, Christie. So as hard as it was for me, I had to respect that and keep my distance.”
“I needed time with Christie– doesn’t mean I needed time away from you.”
“I’m sorry princess.”He says, inching his hand closer to mine. He locks his hand with mine and holds it tightly, giving it a reassuring squeeze.“I’m sorry I stayed away for so long. It won’t happen again. I’m gonna bother the shit out of you on a regular basis.”
