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“That’s why he married me.” I explain to my sister. “He told me he was moving up the wedding because he needed money quickly and Tío is able to move large sums quickly. He gets a huge deposit the day after our wedding.”
“Gross. I hate him.”
“You kind of hate everyone with a penis.” Luna laughs.
“And rightfully so! But we hate him, specifically, don’t we, Ellie?”
“Yes. Mostly. I just keep getting tugged back and forth over and over.”
“Emotional whiplash,” Lu says.
“Yes!” I throw a sweater onto the sweater pile. “Like him texting me that about the money, one of the only texts he’s sent in weeks. We’ve had zero time alone and I think that’s by his design.”
“What about the tastings and all the wedding planning? I saw some pics.”
“Lu, he was only thereforthe pics. We only chose trendy places whose owners have an interesting personal story. He was on his phone the whole time once we got inside. But I noticed he chose things he knew I wanted, for example, chocolate cake when he never eats chocolate, but he knows I do. And he always picks gold or dark red, or things he remembers that I like. Why would he do that?”
“To manipulate you.” Mia answers confidently.
“I’m already signed, sealed and delivered here. I have no bargaining power. Yet, he always talks me up at events like I’m a queen, talking about how organized and thorough I am.”
Mia zips up a suitcase and mutters “That’s an understatement.”
“But how does he even really know that about me? My baking, too, he raves about it. He only had that one stuffed croissant I made and that was only because Mamá practically shoved it into his mouth.”
“Your Mamá is hilarious. She’s still campaigning for you as if he might change his mind.”
I hum, considering. “I don’t think she’s too far off-base, honestly.”
“Yes she is, look at you.” Luna argues and Mia nods.
“You guys say sweet stuff like that, and thank you, but Mark sure as heck never does. He’s not being obvious about seeing other women, thank goodness, but the man doesn’t see me at all. I’ve shown leg, gone tight, tried another slit, another backless shirt,nada. He never even mentioned my hair. But then,” I start talking louder and faster, despite myself. “Then he started holding my hand. He never used to do that. Once, he even tucked me into his side to keep me from being run down by an event planner at an auction. He also glared at her so hard her little headset almost melted off her head. I think sometimes he just slips up and is…accidentally nice.”
Luna sighs heavily. “All this makes me wonder if I should be hoping for that.” She looks up. “Mio Dio,please have Papá match me with a husband who is at least accidentally nice,per favore.”
We all cross ourselves, even Mia.
“Next prayer, add that he has a lovely mother-in-law. I see Annabelle more than Mark and she’s wonderful.”
“Got it. And the digs? How are they?”
“She hasn’t seen them yet.” Mia answers.
“I’m meeting the movers there tomorrow during the day, then I’ll come back here to get ready for the rehearsal dinner.”
Luna sets her phone down and keeps talking to us. “I’m sure his place will be big, new and gorgeous.”
Mia grunts, “I bet it’ll be cold and lifeless, like the real him.”
I almost defend him but stop myself. In the car when we’re alone, he is still cold and lifeless. I know he’s hiding himself from me, but I’m not sure how warm the rest of him truly is. Barely holding my hand doesn’t make him nicer, kinder, better. I’m pathetic for still hoping.
And I am, still hoping. I’m about to move into his private space. I’ll go from seeing him once a week to every single day. If there is a way in, I think after the wedding, I might be able to find it.
I try to shake off the heaviness.“Anyway! Arguably the best part of this whole ordeal is that we get to see you! In person!”
“Yasssss! I better finish packing. It looks like you should too.”
“Kay. See you tomorrow.”
