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I am such a dick.
But I can do better, try harder.
Except…can I?
What else can I give her? There are parts of me she just can’t see, can’t ever know. That’s why I decided this wasn’t going to be permanent. Have I changed my mind? Can I? Is this really what I want? These overwhelming urges and impulses?
I mean, what the hell, I haven’t eaten a girl out since college. Not to mention the front facing sex. And the irrational jealousy and violent protectiveness. I am downright bombastic where she’s concerned.
Can I do this all the time, forever? And how long is my forever, if I stay with her? Stay distracted and messy and emotional?
Not long.
She whimpers again and I ball my fists to keep from punching a wall. Bombastic.Get a hold of yourself, man.
I look at her red hair fanning over my gray sheets. This woman. She’s unreal. And she needs me. So. I’m at least going to be here for her, now, while I can. She deserves that. She deserves a hell of a lot more than that.
“Shhh,” I grab her unharmed hand and kiss it. It’s cold and soft and thin. Is this the first time I’ve kissed her hand? What the fuck is wrong with me? “Shh, Ellie, the doc’s here.”
And I’m here.
And I’m not going anywhere.
Not yet.
CHAPTER 28
Eleanna
Ow. Ow.OWWWWW.
“Don’t move,” a voice says. Mark’s voice. Mark? What?
I focus all my energy on opening my eyes. And there he is. Staring down at me, looking like a dream. Like always. Except his hair is a mess. His clothes are a mess too. He furrows his brow.
Then I remember.
Him holding someone else. Tenderly. Kissing someone else’s forehead, like he cares.
I need to get out of here. I start to pant and the pain gets worse.
“Hey, hey, easy.” Mark says softly, “You’re safe. We’re at home.”
Home? I look around. I’m in Mark’s room. In his bed. I look down at my bandages. A wave of nausea washes over me as the pain throbs again. As if looking at the wound makes it fresh.
“There was an explosion, do you remember?” Mark’s face still looks irritated but also, concerned. Yeah, well, he can take his concern and shove it up his ass. The scenes come back to me in a blurry mess.
“Mia! Mamá!”
“Everyone is fine except for two guards in critical condition.” My pulse spikes.
“Which guards?”
“I don’t know, but not Raul.” He says gently. Which is surprising. More of the alley scene comes back to my mind and I try to get up, get out, get away. “Eleanna,” Mark says my name like a warning, but I try to move anyway. I grimace and freeze from the pain shooting through my arm. “Ellie, look at me.”
“I’d rather not.” I grit out. My eyes are shut up tight in agony.
“Please?” He asks, sounding…different. I open my eyes and look at him. “She is my sister. The woman you saw. Melody, she’s my sister. No one knows about her. I haven’t seen her since we connected in college. Didn’t know she was in town.” My eyes fill with tears as I process what he’s saying. He keeps going. “I thought I saw her and didn’t believe my eyes, then I followed her out. Technically, I don’t have a sister so she didn’t want to just walk up to me in the restaurant.”
