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That was okay.I didn’t want her to be sad if I died.
I didn’t want her to think I’d abandoned heragain.
All this stuff always swirled around in my head, and I had no one to talk to it about.Clients wanted to talk about their children, their husbands, and the most recent gossip at their workplace or with their neighbors, and not about my bullshit.
The aliens ignored my pleas and tears, and I squeezed my eyes shut, thinking of a simpler and better time.How when I was eleven, I used paint made with food-safe dye to paint the cows with colorful patterns, and Mom laughed and joked the milk would be a rainbow swirl.
But I couldn’t rid my mind of the worst-case scenario images of how today might end.The probe they held was first shoved into my ear, pressing hard enough until a cry broke past my gritted teeth.Then they repeated it on the other ear.The aliens made no sound during this process, not talking to themselves or me.
The probe was then placed near my lips, and I pressed them together in a tight line.The alien holding the probe made an impatient noise and pressed until I could feel my teeth pushing painfully against the inside of my lips.But I still didn’t open my mouth.With another noise, the alien slapped my cheek, a small series of light slaps with his sticky glove.Despite the sting, I still refused to open my mouth, my eyes watering.The alien leaned over me, its giant green eyeball staring at my face.The sight made me shudder, but also angry.
Fuck you, alien.
Which I couldn’t say because that would be giving them exactly what they wanted by opening my mouth.
The alien’s other hand slowly came up and stopped over my face.I was tempted to try to bite its fingers, but that also would mean opening my mouth.My chest was heaving, bursts of hot hair coming from my nostrils as I held my mouth closed against the probe as it pressed against my lips.The alien’s fingers went to my nose, and my eyes widened as it clamped my nostrils closed.
I squeezed my eyes shut.
I couldn’t breathe.
But I wouldn’t give in.
Pulling against the restraints, I bucked my hips and legs trying to loosen them.My lungs started to burn, and my head spun as I became desperate for oxygen.The sickly green eyeball was still staring at me when I opened my eyes, and I closed them again.
I thought my chest was going to explode.My brain was screaming at me for air, damn the consequences.
The second I opened my mouth to gasp for air, the probe was shoved in, knocking against and possibly chipping one of my teeth with the force.My nose was released, and I sucked in grateful lungfuls of air while glaring at the alien.The probe was maneuvered around my mouth, hitting the sides of my inner cheeks and pressed under my tongue.When it was pulled from my mouth, the alien tilted its head to the side as if to saysee, that wasn’t so bad.
“Fuck you,” I spat out.But once again, it ignored me and flipped open my robe before yanking up my night shirt.I bucked against the restraints again.“Get your fucking hands off me!”
The probe was pressed against my belly button, rotating around and pressing hard until I was certain it was going to puncture clean through my stomach.It wasn’t over when it lifted the probe, either.Instead, it was followed by bringing it down harder several times, stabbing against my belly button, causing me to cry out in pain and the tears to start again.
Then it was over, and they were moving away from the table.
The straps slid off my arms and legs on their own, and I sat, cradling my tender stomach in my palms and taking a moment to steady my shaky breathing and run my tongue along my teeth, checking for a chip.
The aliens approached me again.
“What the fuck do you want now?”It felt good to swear so openly.I often curbed the sailor talk while at work, but this was no time to hold back.I was fuckingpissed, and I wanted these little assholes to know it.I slapped a gloved hand away when one of them reached for me, and it hesitated for only a moment before its hand shot toward me again, gripping my wrist and forcing me to slide myself from the table.
As I was led from the room and back into the short hallway, I was steered toward the door at the opposite end, and all I could think of waswhen is this going to fucking end?The adrenaline was wearing off, and my emotions were all over the place, swinging wildly between anger and fear and acceptance that I might die here.
Or worse.
Another quiet whoosh, another set of doors opened, and I lifted my head slowly to take in the room.The second my eyes had adjusted to the light, I started fighting again.
There were several large, clear cubes, each floating slightly off the ground, and in one of them was another woman, her hands pressed against the clear sides, watching me intently.There was fear in her eyes, which I’m sure was reflected in my expression.Her long brown hair fell over her shoulders and face, and summery night clothes were all she wore.When our eyes met, she started slapping her hands against the side of the cube, and I could tell she was screaming only by looking at her face, but there was no sound.
“Oh fuck no!”I wiggled harder then, and when the aliens’ sticky grip on my arms loosened, I yanked hard.With one arm free from their hold, I was able to swipe at the others, and they jumped out of the way, letting me go to avoid being slapped or kicked.
I bolted, not even sure where I was running to, but I knew I wasn’t going into some cage without a fight.There were several aliens around a large, flat black screen, which was blank except for the occasional unfamiliar figure that popped up.There were no dials or buttons, so I simply ran to the screen and started slapping my hands against it, wantinganythingto happen that would lend itself to my escape.There was an explosion of sound behind me, angry clicking and squawking as the aliens came at me again.Was I annoying them by touching their precious panel?Good.Maybe I would, at the very least, cause some damage.I fought them off with one hand while I continued to touch everything I could reach on the desk, hoping to send the ship into a soaring spiral.
If I’m going down, I’m taking you all with me.
Their numbers soon overwhelmed me, and I was dragged toward one of the cubes.
But I didn’t stop fighting, and eventually, one came at me with a weapon of some sort, and after a sharp and searing pain on my head, everything went black.
