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“You told me that already.”
“Please.Listen.”I was still gaining back my control, focusing on every throb of pain that ebbed from my wound to keep me in line.Had Ilk had this problem too?Somehow, I doubted it.We were created from a mixture of Ghaal and synthetic DNA, and each of us was as different from each other as any other beings.Ilk always had more control, was more levelheaded, the leader, and stronger.I again cursed myself for not asking him how to keep control while I had the chance, but I never thought I would lose it so quickly.
I never thought Tori would feel so good stretched around my cock.
Concentrate!
“I was created for breeding,” I repeated, trying to keep my thoughts clear.“Our personalities were an accident almost, a side effect of our synthetic DNA and intelligence.I’ve been alone so long, the part of me that runs purely on instinct had been pushed to the side, almost forgotten.Until you.”I paused, looking at Tori, still watching me with eyes full of concern.I slammed down a mental block to stop the flood of inappropriate thoughts from taking over.“You… reactivated me in a way.I’m responding to you the way I was designed to respond to females.Then when you let me inside you…” I growled, low and deep, lifting a lip in a snarl that sent a shudder down her spine.But she didn’t break eye contact or move away.“It was cemented, and now, it’s all I can think about.Taking over my thoughts until I’m barely more than an animal.I’m sorry I scared you…” I indicated my bandaged leg, “… but I needed to regain control, to distract myself, and it was all I could think of in the moment.”
Tori shook her head.“I don’t understand.Why me?There have been other females kidnapped and dropped here from your own admission.So why didn’t they do this to you?Why aren’t you off fucking those banshees who attacked me and stole my robe?”
I ran my hands over my face.“Because unlike them and every other species that’s been abandoned here, you are compatible with the Ghaals for breeding.”And therefore, compatible with me too.I didn’t voice it.Was that to protect her or me from the truth?Was I worried she wouldn’t want me again?How could I even be sure she was compatible just because we fit together?
I knew.
I just knew.
I felt it within me.
“Which the Ghaal know too,” Tori said, interrupting my once again drifting thoughts.
“Yes.”
“All the more reason we need to eat andget the fuck going,Vitri!Find the others.”
“I know, I know,” I snarled, already battling anger and guilt and not needing Tori’s reminder of how I am failing as a mate to her—not providing enough, not caring for enough.
I wasn’t enough.
She wrapped her arms around my middle and squeezed, and for a moment, I was caught off guard by the gesture, and there was a pause before I returned the hug.Without pulling away, she asked, “So if you lose control again, I don’t have to stab you, do I?”
“Because you’d hate that so much.”
She chuckled before sighing.“I would, actually.”
I pulled away from her, grabbed her hand, and led her off in search of food.“If it happens again, and you can’t snap me out of it, then yes, stab me as hard as you can.I promise I can take it.”
Her expression suggested she hoped I was joking before her eyes widened with realization.
What I didn’t want to tell her was the fears nagging in my mind.
What if I was flawed?Unlike the other Synths and unable to keep my instincts under control with intelligence?
What if what I should have said to Tori was, if she was unable to get me under control, torun?
What if the second biggest threat to her on this planet was me?
Chapter Seventeen
TORI
Vitri hunted, and he let me trail along but didn’t allow me to take the kill.My aim with the spear was still pretty far off, and I wasn’t even sure I could throw it with enough strength to make a clean kill.He found a group of ground dwellers like the creature I had killed when I first came here and took two of them to cook for us.We ate in silence, and I thanked Vitri with every strip of meat he handed me, clean and cooked to perfection, although bland without the spices and seasonings I would’ve added back on Earth.But he said nothing in response, lost in his thoughts once again.At least this time, his eyes didn’t have that glazed look as though he were a million miles away.
I trusted Vitri to keep himself under control, although the ache between my legs made thoughts whisper in my mind about how it wouldn’t besucha bad thing to let him lose a bit of control with me.If the way he had fucked me earlier had been himwithcontrol, I could only dream of what he would be like if he let that thread of control slip just a little bit—enough for me to get a peek of the animal underneath, the part of him that ran only on instinct.
Kicking dirt over the remnants of the fire, I took a grateful swig from my water bag, trying not to let concern flood me at how empty I felt before we began walking again.Vitri’s arm twitched with every few steps as though he wanted to hold my hand or place his palm on my lower back but didn’t trust himself to.Just as often, I was tempted to instigate the contact, but then I would remember his roar as he stabbed himself with his spear and his blood running down his leg while he drank in the pain to bring himself under control.
I didn’t want to be the reason he had to do that again.
