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I had to admit she was onto something. Before all of this came out, every time a notion of me sticking around in Silver Point came up, I was so quick to shut it down. To dismiss it as a complete and total impossibility. But it wasn’t. The scarier part really was that I could almost find more reasons to stay than I could to go back home.
“It’s not like you were exactly happy with your life here in the city either,” she added. “And you and I both know that started long before you ever discovered proof that Evan was a lying, cheating scumbag.”
“I thought I was unhappy in the way you and everyone else is unhappy,” I argued. “We always complain about how busy we are and how our jobs are stressing us out. And then we carry on for another day. That’s what adulting is, right?”
“Except, I’m happy,” she defended. “Truly, I am. I complain because it feels good, but underneath all of that, my work fulfills me. It brings me joy, along with a lot of other things in my life. Can you honestly say the same?”
I froze up, afraid to face just how right she was. I had just been going through the motions, checking things off the list, doing all of the things I thought I was supposed to be doing. I never stopped to think it was all one big speeding train that I had the choice to get off of at any time.
I loved the idea of my job in the beginning. I loved how it challenged me, and I was still really good at what I did. It felt great to be so accomplished in something. Didn’t it? I wanted it to. I knew that much. But in reality, the good vibes had started fading a long time ago. It didn’t fulfill me the way Katie’s job fulfilled her. How she felt about her work made all the stress and busyness worth it. I didn’t know if I could say the same anymore.
In that way, it was almost like Evan did me a favor by cheating on me. And my mom, maybe she knew I’d come back here. Perhaps she could sense there was something bigger waiting for me here.
“Sorry, Mel,” Katie sighed. “I don’t mean to make you question everything. I know it’s scary but think about it. Maybe a simple life in a small town with a widowed man and his daughter wasn’t exactly your plan. Then again, maybe you should stop worrying so much about your plans. How often have we talked about how burnt out, overworked, and lonely we are? I love my life here, but if I found myself in your shoes, I can’t say I wouldn’t want to see where things went. If you have a chance at happiness, you should take it.”
A voice came into my head so suddenly. It sounded like me, but it felt like it came from somewhere that was outside of me. That’s what she would say. My mom would want me to take my chance at happiness.
“Enough about me,” I said, desperate to think of anything else for a little while. “Tell me about your day.”
Katie caught me up on how things were going with her job, and I could see what she meant. It had its problems, but you could hear how happy it made her in her voice. Katie was the type of person who played it smart. She knew when to hold on and when to let go. She wasn’t nearly as nervous and cautious as me. She was happy now, but if she ever reached a point where she wasn’t, she would make a change. She would be open to wherever life took her next.
Maybe I needed to stop clinging to how I thought everything was supposed to turn out and who I thought I was before and just embrace what was unfolding right in front of me.
After drying off and changing into some comfy pajamas, I climbed into bed. By the time my head hit the pillow, my mind was made up. I had been considering telling Derek it wasn’t such a good idea for me to come to dinner after all, but now I wanted to go. I wanted to be around him and his daughter and see what it felt like, especially now that I was trying to loosen up on all the baggage I had been holding onto so tightly.
As I drifted off to sleep, I didn’t bother trying to fight off all the thoughts I had been keeping at bay for weeks. Instead of insisting that I missed my life back in New York, I allowed myself to wonder…
What if I did stay here in Silver Point with Derek?
25
MELODY
I paced in front of my bedroom mirror, sifting through a pile of clothes on the bed. Just when I had started to get the hang of dressing for small-town life, I got hit with a curve ball. I knew what to wear around town, to the fair, and the best clothes for biking and gardening in.
But what in the hell were you supposed to wear to go meet the daughter of the guy you’re seeing? That was a new one for me, and even if I was back at home in the big city, I would have been just as clueless.
I opted for a floral print dress that was on the shorter side, but that would be good for the bike. And I would wear a pair of shorts underneath, so I didn’t flash everyone. Flashing my panties, I decided, was definitely one of the big ones to avoid when meeting your potential future boyfriend’s daughter.
I looked myself over in the mirror one last time and decided it was good enough. As soon as I had the thought, my phone dinged with a notification. Part of me was too scared to look. What if Derek had been having doubts too? Only after a night to think it over, he came to the opposite conclusion than I had? What if he had changed his mind?
I forced myself to look anyway in case it was something simple like a change in dinner time, or maybe it wasn’t even Derek at all. It wasn’t. It was worse. Much worse.
Evan: I get it. You’re ignoring me. I understand. I deserve that. I’m going to give you space, but please just tell me when you’re coming back? I can’t let this be the way things end between us.
Maybe you can’t, but I sure can, I scoffed to myself. For the first time since he started sending these kinds of messages, I could finally look at it and think…I don’t know when I’m coming back. I don’t know if I’m coming back at all.
I tossed the phone into my bag, deciding not to encourage him with a response.
Derek had revealed that if I traveled down the lakeside a ways in the opposite direction from town, I would see a shortcut, a bridge that extended from my side of the lake to his. And down the dirt road, I’d come to, I’d finally get to see his house up close. Ever since I learned he lived just across the lake, I kept catching myself staring at it. I had imagined so many different things, trying to picture what it was like. Now it was time to see for myself.
I hopped on my bike and headed off. Sure enough, there was a long wooden bridge just where Derek said it would be. I thought I had seen all there was to see in Silver Point, but I had never ventured to the other side of the lake. There was less grass over there, or maybe it was just dying off quicker because of the cold front slowly rolling in. Maybe my side of the lake would look the same soon.
Regardless, the roads were lined with wispy white weeds and straw. The road was just what you’d imagine a dirt road to be, brown and terracotta-colored, dry and dusty earth. It ended in a long gravel driveway leading straight to Derek’s house. I stood there for a moment, just staring at it.
It was an old white farmhouse with green shutters, but you could tell it had been well cared for. It didn’t have the same wear and tear that the lake house did when I first arrived. Derek knew how to take care of it, like pressure washing the siding, replacing the shingles on the roof, and cleaning out the gutters. I was completely clueless when it came to those kinds of things.
A giant willow tree stood in the front yard with a tire swing hanging from its branches. Little wildflowers grew all around, and off to the side, I saw a big garage with a myriad of old cars and lumber. It was easy to picture Derek working there.
