Page 52 of Before Forever


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“Are you sure?” I exhaled.

He nodded his head ‘yes.’ “Sure? No. But this is where I’ve decided we’re going from here, if you’re up for the ride.”

“I don’t know if I am,” I laughed, wiping a tear from my eye. “But it’s just dinner, right? No big deal.”

Even as I said it, I knew that couldn’t be further from the truth. This was a very big deal. This was huge.

We let it all sink in for a few moments, then walked back to his truck so he could drive me home. We were quiet on the drive, and when we pulled up in front of my house, I knew that as much as I wanted to be around him, I needed to be alone.

“Mind if I go in alone?” I asked him. “I’m sorry if that seems odd. It’s just…well, this is a lot to process. And I need some time to do that before dinner tomorrow night.”

“Of course. I’ll walk you to the door,” he smiled.

Sometimes I found myself hating how much of a good guy he was. So that even when I knew what I was asking for was okay, his patience made me feel guilty. Like, I should be ready to dive in headfirst because he was obviously so great. Then again, maybe that’s what made us perfect for each other. We were both treading lightly, trying our best not to mess anything up.

He opened the car door and walked me up the front steps, leaning in to give me one last long sweet kiss before saying goodnight.

I walked inside, shutting and locking the door behind me. I sank my back against it and let out a huge gush of air like I had been holding my breath in for hours. It had only been a little over an hour since we ran into Mrs. Gardner, and everything unraveled, but it felt like it had been much longer.

I tossed my things onto the table, thinking back on that washstand Derek had refinished the one from his booth. It really would have been perfect in that spot. Oh well, I thought. I had bigger things to accept.

After pouring a big glass of wine, I ran a hot bath and climbed inside. I leaned back and let the steam seep across my face, doing my best to relax. But my insides were all tied up in knots.

How did I get into all of this? A widower with a daughter? This wasn’t what I envisioned for my life at all. The thoughts circling around my head got louder and louder, making my heart pound. I felt like I might be having a panic attack, so I reached for my phone. Katie would know how to calm me down.

I could hear classical music playing in the background when she answered. It made me smile. I could see her so clearly in my mind, sitting at home alone on her cream-colored couch, sipping wine and looking over slides of paintings for work.

“I would do anything to be sitting on that couch next to you right now,” I laughed.

“Maybe I’d rather be there with you. Did you ever think of that? I’ve been thinking I need to get away from it all for a while. Silver Point wouldn’t have been my first choice, but you’re there. What are you doing anyway?”

“I’m in the bathtub. Your couch is probably the better joint activity,” I quipped.

“I don’t know. Is it a big bathtub?”

I checked just to humor her. “I don’t think we’d both fit.”

“What’s wrong? I can tell something’s bothering you. And judging by the time, you’re obviously not out on a hot date with Mr. Firestarter.”

“I was,” I sighed. “And now I’m not. Get ready for this. Mr. Firestarter…is a dad. A widower and a dad.”

“Wow,” she marveled. There was a long pause. “He just now told you this?”

I caught her up on the whole ordeal. I told her the good parts too. The fire station and the fair and what a lovely night it was, until…

“I don’t know what would have happened if we hadn’t run into that chatty teacher. We probably would have tumbled into my bed tonight without a care in the world. I still would have had no idea that he had a kid at home.”

“That would have been my preferred outcome,” she joked. “But seriously, Mel. This is a good thing, you know?”

“How!?” I shrieked. “How is it a good thing that I’m stuck here in Silver Point after my whole life got turned upside down, and now my rebound…which you encouraged me to go after, by the way, turns out to be the nicest, sexiest man I’ve ever met. But he’s also a single dad. This is insane! I don’t know what I’m doing.”

I cradled my head in my free hand, feeling the panic rising up inside again.

“Is it really so crazy?” she suggested. “Or do you just think it should feel crazy?”

“What!? What does that even mean, Kat?”

“I mean, do you have a sick feeling in your gut that tells you you’re going the wrong way with him? Or do you just think there should be a sick feeling there and there isn’t? Maybe that’s the scarier part.”

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