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She squeezed her eyes shut and looked down again.
Maybe it wastooscary.
“So you’re going to be an accountant?”
“Iaman accountant.” Amber jerked her head up and swallowed hard to keep the tears at bay. She would not cry. Not like this.
“I guess congratulations are in order.”
His words bit into her skin like acid. She hadn’t really expected him to be happy for her. She hadn’t expected much from him, really. But she hadn’t expected him to be hurtful.
“So you’re going to give it all up for some boring job?”
“Give what up?” The room was suddenly a lot colder than it had been a moment ago, and she wrapped her arms tighter around her. “What exactly would I be giving up, Cole? This is all I’ve ever wanted.”
“Is it?”
She swallowed hard and nodded.
“I don’t believe that.”
She opened her mouth to defend herself, but he still hadn’t answered her question. “What am I giving up, Cole?”
“Everything.” He shook his head and rubbed his hands over his face. “You’re giving everything up, Amber. You just spent the last few days telling me how you weren’t sure what you wanted to do with your life but what you did know was that you needed a change. I just offered you a change. I just offered you fun and adventure and…”
“And what?” She forced herself to keep her eyes open, when all she really wanted to do was squeeze them shut and will him to say the words that she didn’t even realize she wanted to hear until that exact moment. “What else did you offer me?”
He opened his mouth and closed it again. “It doesn’t matter. Sounds like you already made your choice.”
Choice?What was he talking about?She’d taken a job. That was the right thing to do. She’d been ridiculous to even think there might be any other thing to do. She was a college graduate and she needed a job. That was what you did. You graduated and got a job. Besides, he hadn’t offered her anything else, exceptfun.
What had she wanted him to offer?
The answer to that question scared her more than it should have. Because she knew exactly what she’d wanted him to say—that he had feelings for her—because didn’t she have some for him?
It was all too much.
Anger grew inside her. She was supposed to be happy about the job. She was supposed to be excited about her future. She was getting everything she’d planned for.
Even if you no longer know if you even want a plan?
Amber shook her head hard in an effort to make the stupid voice in her head shut up once and for all.
“There was no choice,” she said after a moment. The words came out soft and hurt, and it pissed her off because she didn’t want to feel any of those things talking to Cole.
“There was.” He crossed the room and stood only inches from her. Despite the flood of mixed feelings flowing through her, a shiver of desire rippled through her body. His voice was cold, tinged with disappointment and hurt. “There still is.” He looked at her with so much intensity that maybe she didn’t need him to voice anything out loud after all. Maybe he was saying everything she needed to hear with his eyes?
She opened her mouth to change her mind. To tell him that she’d go. That she didn’t want the job at all. That what she really wanted was—him.
But before she could say anything, Cole spoke again. “I’m sure you’ll be very happy with your boring, predictable, planned-out life. After all, it’s all you’ve always wanted.”
His words pierced through her and lodged painfully in her heart. To hear him so coldly express his opinion of her hurt more than she could have ever expected.
Standing in front of him, the man she never would have expected to have any feelings for beyond simple lust, especially after such a short time, Amber had two choices. She could break down and cry. She could admit out loud for the first time that he was right, and that she was terrified that she was making a mistake, that she was going to regret taking the safe road and not risking everything, but that she was just too scared to do anything else.
Or…she could go with the safe choice the way she always had: protect her heart and her future.
Amber swallowed hard and squeezed her eyes shut, but just for a moment. When she opened them, she looked Cole right in the eye and made her choice.
