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Then again, Holly didn’t expect to get much sleep tonight anyway. Like regrets, what else was new when Chace had disrupted her sleep in some form or fashion for over twenty damned years? From invading her dreams to tangling with her between the sheets to stealing the covers, Holly held Chace personally responsible for her most satisfying and pleasurable awakenings and nearly all of her sleepless nights.
Much like she suspected of this one, because no matter how many years passed, Holly’s feelings for Chace still ran fathoms deep.
How could they not? From the moment he soothed her bruised pride and dried her tears of embarrassment after she fell off the pony at Lyss’s twelfth birthday party, Holly had been a complete and utter goner for her BFF’s older brother. Now, two decades and a shit ton of history—including a broken engagement—later, Chace continued to take up a vast portion of real estate in Holly’s heart and soul.
The epitome of tall, dark, and handsome by anyone’s standards, for Holly, Chace’s appeal went far beyond the physicality of his six-foot-three-inch God-given attributes. Like most, she first noticed the striking combination of his thick dark hair and smoldering deep brown eyes, the perpetual stubble shadowing the chiseled planes and angles of his handsome face, the often smiling, perfectly kissable lips, and his ridiculously mouthwatering hard-bodied physique.
But those features alone weren’t what curled her toes or took her breath away.
For Holly, it was the tiny cowlick on the crown of his head that only appeared when he allowed his usual high and tight military cut to grow more than a few inches. The tiny white scar that bisected his right brow line from the time Lyss clocked him with her shoe when they were teenagers and he’d gone all big brother mode on her. The ever-present sparkle in his beautiful eyes that intensified considerably when he smiled.
Or grinned. The man had one irresistible grin, especially when those tiny lines fanned out from the corners of his eyes.
Hell, who was she kidding? Since the day she’d first laid eyes on Chace Dutton, Holly hadn’t found much of anything she could resist about him. Until he decided to enlist in the Army. But even that didn’t diminish how she truly felt about him.
Then or now.
Which was bound to create more than a few challenges as she and Chace took on the role of co-parenting Emme and Wren for as long as Lyss remained overseas with Sean. Depending on the severity of Sean’s injuries, that time frame could equate to days, weeks, or God-forbid, even months.
Holly’s nervous system was already running amok at the thought of sleeping under the same roof as Chace for one night. How in hell would she survive a week, let alone a month? Essentially living together like a family. Making decisions. Coordinating schedules. Participating in the surplus of December activities to celebrate the holidays, all of which were a huge deal in Hickory Ridge.
I’ll be okay, Holly assured herself, augmenting her self-talk with deep, even breaths to keep herself from flying into a full-blown panic attack.No need to catastrophize the situation, she soothed herself while inhaling through her nose, counting to ten, and then exhaling as slowly as possible through her mouth.
After repeating the process several more times, Holly felt better. Calmer even. She could do this. She just needed to keep her head on straight, put Emme and Wren first and foremost, and ignore her traitorous heart where Chace was concerned.
Though the last part was easier said than done, the last eight years had given Holly plenty of practice handling her feelings for Chace. Still, those were fleeting moments in the big scheme of things. A few birthday parties for the twins. A handful of holidays whenever he wasn’t deployed or on assignment. Never anything longer than a few hours at best. And if things became too difficult to manage, Holly simply excused herself early from the festivities.
Only that wasn’t something she could very well do in this situation.
But she’d manage. For Emme and Wren. Lyss and Sean.
Though futile, Holly yanked the covers back and slipped into bed. Misgivings, concerns, and doubts ran on a continuous loop inside her head. She thought about Sean, his injuries, if he’d even recover, and if he did, how profoundly his wounds would affect the rest of his life and the life of his wife and daughters.
Sean and Lyss’s present circumstances were exactly why Holly had broken her engagement to Chace. After losing her oldest brother Sloane to the conflict in the Middle East, Holly was too scared to take the risk. Like Chace, Sloane was larger than life.
Strong.
Capable.
Invincible.
Although Holly understood the perils of military service, she truly believed no harm would ever come to Sloane. He was too smart and tough for anything to ever happen to him.
Until it did.
For as long as she lived, Holly would never forget the day her family received the news. Disbelief surfaced first, followed closely by denial. There had to be some mistake. A mix-up of epic proportions, because there was no way Sloane wasn’t ever coming home again.
Only he did. In a flag-draped coffin. When her parents returned from Dover Air Force Base with Sloane’s remains, a suffocating pall fell over their entire household as they went through the motions of his funeral service and laid him to rest. It was the first time she’d ever seen her father cry.
The grief was numbing. The rage fierce. The sadness palpable. The desolation paralyzing. And Holly never wanted to feel that level of loss ever again.
At the time, Chace was already entrenched in the military and putting his own life in danger running special ops in God-forsaken places most people had never heard of, let alone visited. Depending on the mission, months could pass without hearing his voice or seeing his face. After what happened to Sloane and realizing the same thing could happen to Chace, Holly couldn’t bear the thought of losing anyone else she loved. At least not in the same manner.
When Holly confided her fears to Chace, he understood why she felt the way she did, but he had at least two years left to serve. When he couldn’t commit to separating from the military after those two years were up, Holly returned his ring and broke their engagement.
Ironically, here they were, thrown together as a result of what Holly had sacrificed her heart to avoid. Only it wasn’t Chace, but his brother-in-law whose life hung in the balance. Her best friend’s husband. The father of the goddaughters she shared with the only man she’d ever loved.
The man who’d dropped everything to fly halfway across the world when his sister called in need. The same man Holly would now navigate uncharted waters with as they did their best to keep everything as normal as possible for Emme and Wren.
