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“Oh.” I didn’t know much about Luke’s family even though they’d lived next-door to us for years. Our parents never interacted much, but I did know that Luke’s dad was a divorce lawyer whose wife ended up divorcing him too. The few times I spotted his dad, he always seemed like a man who didn’t do much but work and sleep.
“You don’t really talk about them,” I say, nearly regretting my words when his face immediately tenses.
“Not much to say. My dad is retired in New York, and my mom is out travelling the world. She sends me postcards from every country she’s in, and we call once a week.”
“And your dad?”
He says nothing for a few seconds, and then admits. “We talk when we can.”
“Why don’t you like your dad?”
Luke looks surprised. “Who says I don’t like him?”
“It sounds like you don’t.”
Luke is quiet. At first, I don’t think he’s going to answer but then he shrugs. “I guess we were never all that close, growing up. I was closer to my mom, and then after the divorce, I got even more distanced from my dad.”
“Why? Did he do something - to cause the divorce?”
He smiles a little. “He didn’t cheat on her if that’s what you mean. At least not to my knowledge. But there’s a million ways to hurt a person that doesn’t involve infidelity.” He takes a deep breath.
“He was just…almost never present. He gave everything he had to his work, and then when he was home, he shut down. He never helped her. He barely interacted with me. He didn’t pay attention to her unhappiness for a long time.
I never understood it. I mean, I saw how unhappy my mom was and I was a kid. How could he not see it? Did he not care?”
His eyes look far away as he shakes his head.
“My mom’s travel blog….it initially started as a hobby. Just something to take her mind off things. She’s always wanted to travel but my dad kept telling her no and putting it off. Barely took any vacations, maybe once every two years and it wasn’t because we couldn’t afford it. He just hated missing work. Anyway, so she started the travel blog, and it began getting pretty popular. She was so proud of it and went to show it to him. He just stared at her, blankly, and asked when dinner would be ready.”
I see the loathing in his eyes as he shakes his head. “That’s when I knew the marriage was over. It took her another month to file for divorce, but I saw the look in her eyes that day. He crushed her. And she was done.”
I don’t know what to say when he’s done with his story. It gives me a little more insight into him, I guess, and why he used to live like he did. Not giving his heart out to anyone.
He saw his mom do it and get hurt repeatedly. It’s enough to make anyone relationship avoidant.
“Did you ever talk to your dad about this?”
He shakes his head as we stop in front of the ice-cream cart. Chase and Mikey grab the menu, too engrossed in picking flavors to pay attention to our conversation.
“No. He tried to apologize later, saying he understood why I was mad but I just…I didn’t want to talk to him. Mom thought I’d be better off with him, ‘cause she was travelling mostly full-time at that point, but I didn’twantto stay with him. I made sure he knew it, every day.” He sighs. “Sometimes I regret that. I think…I don’t know. I’m a dad now, and maybe it was more complicated than I realized. Maybe he just showed his love in other ways, by buying us everything we ever needed. He never said no when I wanted something, sent me to a good school, paid for all my hockey gear. He even helped coach my team, occasionally. Maybe that’s how he knew how to show love.”
“You should talk to your dad about this.”
“Why? It’s in the past.”
“Maybe it might help.”
He thinks about it for a little bit and says, “Maybe.”
We spend the rest of the day following the kids around the rides, watching them, and talking about everything. I tell him about my family vacations, and how we went to Mykonos once, and it ended up being the best vacation of my life. I tell him how I’ve always wanted to take Chase, but I could never afford it.
He nods and watches me the whole time, with a strange, little glint in his eyes.
Hours later, when we finally make it home, the kids are exhausted but somehow still buzzing with energy.
Luke and I link hands, after exiting his BMW, and head up to the house, the kids on either side of us.
We pause when we see the large man standing in front of it.
