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I am fucking Broken.
I wrap my arms around my knees and rest my chin on the top of them as the men’s and Sebastian’s voices get louder and louder. Reminding me that even inside this closet, I am not safe. There is nowhere that is fucking safe for someone like me.
24
Christian
Ilean against the doorframe as I look into the room. I take a deep breath as I push off the doorframe, turn, and walk down the hallway towards my study. I push open the door and step inside. Ty is already sitting in the chair on the other side. He has been watching over me and Nicole more and more. He is the only one I am starting to trust with Nicole.
She is inside the closet once again. I have wanted to ask her why, but I have been unable to ask the question because I don’t think I am ready for the answer.
Every second of every day, I can see the war inside her growing, and I want to help her understand what is growing inside her, but instead, I have been backing off because she isn’t ready, even though I fucking wish she was. I can be fucking patient even though, over the last two days, my patience has become thinner and thinner, and it isn’t her fucking fault. No, it is mine. She needs time, and I don’t want to give it to her. I just fucking want her. She is here. She is allowing herself to feel more than when I first brought her here, so that is progress. And any progress right now is fucking good progress.
I take a seat across from my best friend. He sits back in his chair, staring at me, but I can tell his thoughts are elsewhere. I can guess where his thoughts are, but I know he isn’t ready to admit anything just yet. But he knows that I can see it.
One thing about Ty is that he and I are so much alike that most people think we are blood brothers. We aren’t, but to me, he is my brother. He is the one man in my life that I trust with anything and everything. He is my bodyguard, my enforcer, and my best friend. He has always been by my side, helping and guiding me. He is the only one in my life with the balls to tell me that I am an asshole and the only man alive I won’t kill for calling me one.
“You have to go back to New York,” Ty says in a stern but quiet voice.
Ty has always been stern and quiet. He is one of the most guarded person I have ever met in my life, he is more guarded than I am, and that is fucking saying a lot. The only people he lets even close to him are me and Lyric, and Lyric is not a person he is ready to talk about just yet.
“I know, but she isn’t ready,” I reply, feeling my stomach tighten. She isn’t ready to return to that fucking city, and I am not prepared for her to see my world. Not until I have claimed her.
In my world, if you don’t claim your woman, it is easy for them to be taken by another, willingly or forcefully. I will never live in a world where she doesn’t fucking exist, and I don’t feel like killing my men, but I will if I fucking have to.
“I am worried about you,” Ty confesses, his tone is stern and worried. He is not good at showing his emotions, but he does with me when he wants me to fucking listen, and I guess this is one of those times.
“Me, why?” I ask, even though I already know the answer. Ty has been watching me watch Nicole. I don’t hide my feelings for her, and Ty helped me fucking search for her after she spilled her drink on me. He knows what she means to me.
“You know why Christian. I see how you are with her, how you look at her,” he confesses again.
I nod. “Yes, I know you do.”
“I won’t let anything happen to either of you, brother,” Ty ensures, and I believe him. I know he would put his life on the line for Nicole and me without being asked to do so.
“I trust you, Ty,” I reply, nodding to him.
“But if you are not careful, people will start challenging you and your power,” Ty warns me.
My heart races with his words because I know he is telling the truth. Many people would love nothing more than to see me fall so they can take what I have. But I will never let that happen.
I slowly stand up, feeling my chest tighten as I turn around and scream, punching the wall in front of me. Nicole is not the only one that is becoming more and more unhinged.
I will never hide my feelings from her, but right now, she is not ready to see the monster inside me, and honestly, I am not ready to show her what is inside me. So, for now, we will stay here until I know she is ready for me and my world.
I don’t care how long it fucking takes. I will wait for her for fucking ever, even if that means I lose everything. I will give it up, all of it, if it means I get Nicole. If it means that she will love me back and want me the way I want her.
25
Nicole
Week Five - Disgusted
Iforce myself to make my way to the full-length mirror. Looking over my naked body, I see all the scars, bruises, and carvings on my inner thighs. I am so skinny. I am not a supermodel, but I’ve never been this thin. Hollow and empty inside describes my feelings since my father threw me away like trash to Sebastian.
My nails are so brittle and could and will eventually fall off at any moment if I am not careful. I haven’t had my period since I was taken and bled on that man, so it must mean I am malnourished. In health class, we learned that starvation can mess up your cycle, something about your body shutting down and trying to protect itself, which makes sense. Sebastian made sure to give me enough food to survive. I can remember as clear as day the first day I asked for more food. I will never forget the look in his eyes and the anger in his tone when I asked him for something he didn’t believe I deserved.
One month after being taken (2 years 11 months ago)
