Page 30 of Silent Tears


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Or maybe that is what the men and Sebastian want me to do. Even in death, they are making sure I feel the suffering and pain of what they have done.

28

Christian

Isit back in my chair as I look at my laptop. There is so much going on back home with the casinos. I know that Ty is correct and that I need to be careful. Be careful that I don’t lose my power and control. In this life, so many people want to see me fall or become weak. And we all know what happens when someone in power becomes weak.

In this life, people are loyal to a fucking fault, but at the same time, no one would think twice about taking what is mine if they can. Lucky for them, I am not weak. And what is mine will stay mine. But there is a big part of me that just doesn’t fucking care about what is happening back home and doesn’t care who the fuck is watching me.

When I killed my father, it wasn’t just to take his kingdom; I did it for revenge. I did it because I could no longer sit by and let him do what he was doing. My life has always been fucked up. If my life was normal, whatever the fuck that word means, I don’t think I would know what to do.

People like me are not meant to have a normal life. We are meant to be monsters. We are meant to be unhinged, violent, and cruel, but underneath all that, we love with no limits. We are loyal to a fucking fault. And when we get our mind set on something, we will do anything to make sure we get it and fucking keep it.

That person now is Nicole. She had me the moment she spilled coffee on me. The moment she spoke, the moment she looked into my eyes, the moment she let me fucking touch her. The moment she fucking touched me. Since that day, I have belonged to her. I just didn’t realize how much until I found her in that fucking basement.

Every day I spend with Nicole, even in silence, she takes all my attention. She will always have my full attention. The desire between the both of us is growing. I can feel it, and I can see it in her eyes. We both want each other, but I can tell she is confused and scared, and I don’t blame her.

She is slowly becoming more and more unhinged, and the more I see it, the more turned on I get, the more I want to fucking claim her in every way I can. I will never let her go or ask her to change. She is safe with me; she will always fucking be safe with me.

She has been through so fucking much. I will fucking hunt down every fucking man that has touched her, and they will die by my hands. It might take me fucking years, but I will hunt each of them down. I didn’t realize it then, but Ty took Sebastian’s laptop when we were heading out of the house.

My men are still trying to work through and understand a lot of the information on the laptop. It will take them a while to find Sebastian’s different lists of men, but one good thing about that dirtbag is that he kept good records. He liked writing everything fucking down.

The other day, Ty found fucking journal entries from Sebastian. That sick fuck kept a detailed description of Nicole and her actions. He noted that she wasn’t giving in how he wanted her to. He was becoming more unhinged himself. He was fucking breaking, waiting for her to finally fucking submit.

The last few entries were different to read. She was starting to give in to him and losing hope that she would survive. My heart drops as I close my eyes and take a deep breath. The words I have read from Sebastian will forever be fucking imprinted into my brain.

The day that I found her, his entry was not completed. But from what he did write, he could see in her eyes that she had nothing left. He had finally fucking broken her.

I slam my fist down on my desk as I stand up and make my way to the window. Nicole is sitting outside in the rain. She is so fucking beautiful. I rest my hands on either side of the window and keep my eyes on her. They will always be on her and only on her.

My dick starts to move in my slacks as she leans forward, looking out at the trees. She is becoming more and more comfortable here and with me. Sebastian wanted to break her, and so did I, but he and I are not the same. He wanted her in a different way than I do.

My heart races as she stands up and heads back into our bedroom. She feels safe in that room. She feels free in that room. And I will do anything that I have to do to make sure it stays that way.

29

Nicole

Week Seven - Fear

“Fear is not real unless you make it real. Fear can either push you or break you.”

The same nightmare, the same memory, is running on a loop inside my head, over and over and over again. Sebastian’s voice filled my ears, him screaming, him hitting me, and him pushing his dick into me to teach me a lesson. One thing Sebastian taught me is that sex or sexual interactions are used for two things: punishment or pleasure, and I never got the pleasure part. I only got the punishment part, and he used my body against me in every single fucking way he could.

I can hear Christian breathing next to me. I roll over onto my side and close my eyes, allowing the tears to escape and roll down my face as the memory and the blackness take me away.

Six Months Held Captive

Sebastian leans against the wall and continues to watch me as I struggle against the chains.

“Please, I have to go,” I say in a shaky voice. I can feel it; I won’t be able to hold it much longer.

Sebastian shakes his head. “You know the rules, Nicole, once a day, that is all you get,” he replies in a dark, distant voice; his words have no emotion.

“Please,” I scream as my bladder gets worse. If he doesn’t let me go, I will have an accident on this bed.

Sebastian narrows his eyes on me as I scream and scream

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