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“Hey.” I pretend it doesn’t matter what he thinks.
Placing my phone on the bedspread beside me, I turn the screen side down so he can’t see it. The text I dictated to Peace is only half-finished. I know he wouldn’t be pleased that I started complaining to her about him the moment I came upstairs.
“What am I going to do with you?” Bryan brings the chair from the desk to the bed where I’m sitting. Exhaling heavily, he shakes his head at me, then drags both hands through his brown hair. I’ve disappointed him again. I’m nothing to him but a pain in his ass. What he doesn’t say hurts as much as what he does.
I pop off. “You can let me off the hook. For shit that isn’t a big deal.”
“It is a big deal, Bo.” His gray-green eyes are the same shade as mine, only his are cold with disapproval.
“I know how to handle your guitar.”
Playing the shit out of anything with strings is the one thing I’m good at. With a guitar in my hand, the world makes sense to me. My dad and I both play the instrument well. We have that in common. It’s the last thing I know to do to gain his approval.
“That’s not the point.”
“What is then?” I ask bitterly, knowing I’m always on the sharp end of it.
“You disobeyed me.” He shakes his head. Again. “You have no respect for me. Or for the rules. And I don’t think you even care that you got Peace into trouble.”
“I guess you missed the part where she said playing your guitar was her idea.”
“I know better.” His gaze sharpens. “She liedforyou.”
He’s right. She did. Peace Jinkins gets me, and I get her.
“What is it going to take to get you on the right path?”
Dad poses the question, but I can tell he already has an answer. He believes I’m a lost cause. He thinks there is nothing that will keep me from going bad. Maybe he’s right.
“You mean the path that you want for me?” My sharp gaze clatters like steel against his.
“I’ll settle for one where you don’t get into trouble at school, or at least one that lets me and your mother worry less.” He leans forward. “Even your grandma is concerned.”
“You don’t know what it’s like.” I dredge up the words from deep inside me.
This is a low blow. He’s never mentioned my grandma being disappointed in me.
“It’s shit for me at school.”
“You go to one of the highest-rated schools in the province. It’s not that bad. Try surviving one day at any school in Southside, and you’ll realize quickly how good you have it.”
He doesn’t understand. He doesn’t want to.
“So, send me to Southside.” I lift my chin. I would do all right. I’m tougher than he’ll ever admit.
“Not Southside.” He lets out another loud breath like he’s a tire leaking air. “But after winter break, you will be going to a new school, one for troubled teens. You got expelled from Burrard.”
“But—”
“If you wanted to stay there, then you should have followed the rules.”
My dad drowns me out like he drowns all my explanations. He doesn’t get it, doesn’t care to get how school was okay for me until the reading and math part started. I can’t make sense of any of that shit. It’s embarrassing.
“I don’t care. Send me wherever the fuck you want.”
But I do care. I care what the other kids think. What my mom thinks. What he thinks, most of all. But I will never admit it. The days are long past that I will admit anything to him.
“You should care.” My dad drops his head into his hands. “I don’t know where I failed you, but I’m afraid you’re going to end up just like my father.”
