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“Better now. I’m always better with you.” Self-consciousness creeps in, and reflexively, I reach up to smooth my hair down. Only, I’m reminded of how little I have left. “You said you wanted to stick around until the end, but we don’t know each other well enough for you to see me looking like so much shit.”
“You don’t look like shit. Your lips are colorless, there are dark circles under your eyes, and your hair is dull and patchy, but—”
I huff out a laugh at his brutal honesty. “Gee, way to make a girl feel better. You should totally volunteer with hospice to come give pep talks to all the patients.”
Ellister’s lips twitch with amusement at my sarcasm. “You didn’t let me finish. I was going to say, I’ve still never seen anything more beautiful than you.”
I’m aware that my parents are still in the room and they’re overhearing an intimate conversation.
Sighing, I glance at them. “Can we have a couple minutes alone?”
Reluctantly, they nod and tell me they’ll be right outside the door.
Before he turns, my dad shoots a glare at Ellister. “Don’t you dare leave without letting us talk to her first.”
“I won’t,” Ellister assures them.
After they’re gone, I fiddle with his fingers.
I should probably ask him what they’re talking about, but instead, I bring up my immediate concern. “You left me last night.”
“Yes.”
“Where did you go?”
He’s still got on the clothes from yesterday evening, so he didn’t go back to his cabin to change. He’s disheveled, his flannel shirt wrinkled. A twig and some grass sticks to him in random places, and it looks like he had a rough night.
When he reaches up to adjust the knitted cap he always wears, I squint at the fresh scratches on his forearm. They’re not thin and close together like an animal—I guess I wouldn’t be shocked if he’d gotten into an unfortunate scuffle with one of the barn cats. No, these scratches are wider and long. Like fingernails.
I don’t know where the visual comes from, but a picture of Ellister at Faith’s door suddenly pops up in my mind. I see her surprised and satisfied smile aimed at him as she invites him in.
“Where were you?” I ask again, my voice harder like an accusation.
“I don’t have a good answer for that. At least, not one you’d understand.”
“Were you with Faith?” I get straight to the point.
“I was,” he tells me with a great deal of hesitation.
Betrayal rears its ugly head inside me, and I try to pull away. Unwilling to let me go, Ellister tightens his hold.
I’m not strong enough to yank my hand out of his, so I sling some hurt-filled words instead. “What, you just couldn’t resist her? You couldn’t hook up with me, so you went to her for a booty call? Couldn’t even wait until I finally kicked the bucket, huh?”
Worked up, my heart is beating fast, and my chest rises and falls with quick breaths.
Shaking his head, Ellister lays a hand over my sternum. “Calm yourself and listen to me. It’s not for any reason you might be suspecting. Can you trust that the errands I ran last night were supposed to be for your benefit?”
“My benefit? How…”
More visions I don’t understand enter my mind. These are murkier, with a hazy darkness. Everything is smeared like a ruined watercolor painting, and I soak up the emotions of the scenes.
Devastation and disappointment. Heartbreak.
There’s no sexual excitement or happiness, and somehow, I know without a doubt that the visit Ellister had with Faith wasn’t a pleasant one. There’s a lot of shame swirling around him, but not the kind you get with a one-night stand you regret. It’s more like… failure.
Failure to do what, though?
He reaches out and brushes his thumb over my cheek. “You’re starting to see it now, aren’t you?”
