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“It’s always like this in the end?” I ask. “I’m supposed to be seeing everything inside of you? Because it’s a lot. There’s so much, I can’t keep track of your history. Memories are merging together…”
“There’s a lot to sort through.”
“Because you’re so old?”
“Yes.”
“Like, really, really old.”
“Really, really,” Ellister confirms, sounding so human as he uses my wording.
“How old are we talking?” I squint at him, trying to find evidence of advanced age, but there’s nothing. No wrinkles. No gray hair.
“Over half a million years.”
My jaw drops. “You’re shitting me.”
With brief confusion, he rotates his shoulders and glances down at his backside. “I’mnotshitting.”
I laugh. It’s a weak, hoarse sound that jumps out of me, and it hurts my ribs.
Actually, it hurts everything, and I clutch my middle while getting serious. “So how many times have you done this? The bargains.”
“Five, including you.”
“And here I thought I was special,” I croak out the joke, my throat dry.
“You are,” Ellister responds vehemently. “Whenever I did this in the past, it was different.”
“How so?”
“They weren’t—” He pauses. “—weren’t at your maturity level.”
Kids. Babies. He means he’s performed this ritual on people who were too young to fully understand it.
He looked into innocent eyes and coldly did his duty, watching the little ones become sicker and sicker. Then, when it was time, he rocked them to sleep before claiming them for his people.
And he didn’t care. He was emotionally detached and felt no guilt.
But he has so much regret now. A veil of sorrow hangs over Ellister’s every thought.
No wonder he doesn’t like to talk about himself. He’s beyond complicated. In his life, he’s done some terrible shit. He’s been so cruel.
He’s also suffered.
“Who was she?” I ask, wondering if he’ll know I’m referring to the beautiful mystery woman.
He does.
“A mistake,” Ellister sighs. “She’s the one who got me into this mess, but I’d rather not talk about her right now.”
“Hey, I get it. Exes and hindsight are the worst.”
That makes him smile a little. “I suppose you do understand. As relationships usually do, it started out innocently enough. At least, I thought it was innocent. When you’re young and naïve, and someone pretends to love you, you tend to believe them.”
“How could anyonenotlove you?”
“Very easily, Hannah. I don’t have anything to offer.”
