AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Do I really want to die? No. I hate the thought of leaving my family behind forever, but what good am I to them? I don’t belong in Valora. I don’t belong in the Earth realm.
I don’t belong anywhere.
I’m useless. My time in the Lost Land has confirmed it for me. In this hell, I’ve realized my insignificance. I’ve accepted it.
“It would be a gift.” I keep trying to convince the unhappy warrior. “A mercy.”
I didn’t think a frown could get any frownier, but Kai manages it. He scowls harder than when he first saw me, and that’s saying something.
When he scrutinized my neglected body, I recognized his dismay.
I should’ve felt shame and embarrassment for how gross I am, yet I felt nothing. That’s just how it is in the Lost Land. Just a bunch of nothingness.
No happiness, no sadness, no end, and no beginning.
Time isn’t linear. It doesn’t exist.
Lifedoesn’t exist.
After a while, the wrongness of it drains a person. Every particle of my body is empty, and all that’s left of me is a hollow shell.
Honestly, it’s as if I’m dead already. A zombie walking around in a decaying bodysuit. So, really, my request to the warrior is long overdue.
“No. Absolutely not.” Kai radiates displeasure, his hands balling into tight fists as he delivers a swift denial.
I’m not disappointed at his refusal. Or glad. Or relieved. Or betrayed.
Again, that lack of emotion plagues me. The apathy… it’s the worst.
I suppose my request was silly. If Kai’s been sent by my son, he isn’t going to take my order over Zander’s.
“You promised,” I point out flatly.
“I take it back.”
“If your soul were bound to it, would you follow through?”
“I would not.”
“Even knowing you’d be hurt by the consequences of your deceit?”
“You think I can’t handle pain?” Kai barks the question gutturally, and the passion in his voice reaches into some place deep inside me.
Now I feel a tiny spark of something.
Sympathy.
As I watch him fume, I realize the hypothetical threat of agony wouldn’t be a deterrent for him. His scars are proof that he’s endured terrible torture and lived through it.
Most fae have impeccable complexions. Even the ones who are injured badly in battle end up healing perfectly.
So what happened to him?
“It’s all right if I disgust you,” Kai states dully, holding my gaze bravely as he gives me permission to judge him.
I’m taken aback by how wrong he’s misreading me. “You don’t disgust me at all.”
In fact, it’s the opposite.
