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Patting my damp face, I pull my hand away and I’m surprised by the drops on my dirty fingers. I’d thought all my tears were gone, but I guess I was wrong.
More hot streaks follow the others, and although I tell myself to stop, I can’t. The floodgates have officially opened.
Embarrassed, I quickly dash the tears off with the backs of my hands, but they still drip from my jaw and hit Kai’s boot with the faintest splat. I glance down at the wet trails cutting through the dust on the dark leather.
“I’m crying all over your shoes,” I say apologetically with a sniffle.
“Hey, I don’t care about that,” Kai responds so softly he’s practically cooing.
As he cups my jaw to catch the rivers with his big palms, the same electricity I experienced earlier with him is still present in our physical contact, though it’s different now. It’s not a jarring jolt. It’s like a comforting buzz.
Looking at someone like him, with his massive size and constant frown, you wouldn’t think he could touch someone so gently. Kai could crush me if he wanted to, but he would never hurt me. I barely know him, but I truly believe that.
I’ve never felt safe with a man who isn’t a member of my family.
Until now.
Until Kai.
And although I’m glad to realize I have the ability to enjoy a man’s closeness, being near him puts a spotlight on my loneliness.
I’ve been alone for so long, a brief taste of affection makes me crave more. So much more.
Something about Kai stirs up a new desire in me. An urge to hold onto him like he’s a buoy among rough waves in a storm. I want to hug him. I want him to return the embrace. I want his hands to slip into my robe so I can feel the roughened scars on his hands rubbing up and down on my back.
Swaying toward him, I put my hands on his forearms.
My gesture seems to break the spell of the moment because he suddenly steps away, severing our connection.
“I apologize, Your Majesty,” he says formally. “I have made many mistakes with you in such a short amount of time. I beg you to forgive me for my transgressions.”
I’m confused. “What transgressions?”
“Getting you dragged into the maze with me, making you cry, putting my hands on you.”
“That’s a lot of stuff you don’t need to be sorry for. It’s not your fault I’m here, and my tears aren’t because of you.” My cheek tingles where his fingers had been, and the lingering evidence of his attention is both pleasant and sad. Because I liked it, and I don’t want it to end. “And I’m not offended by your touch.”
“Still, I shouldn’t have initiated physical contact.” Kai’s staring at his hands as if they’ve betrayed him, like he didn’t mean to reach for me but he couldn’t help it.
“Really, I don’t mind.” Just to show him I’m sincere, I try to grab his wrist.
He yanks himself away. “Well, I do mind. I don’t like to be touched.”
“Oh.” My focus hops around to a few of the scars on his arms. “Is it painful?”
“No.” His answer is short, and he doesn’t elaborate, but I can guess what his aversion is about.
He’s self-conscious, and I’m being improper. I’m so far removed from society, I’m seeing signs that aren’t there and crossing lines that definitely are.
Kai and I aren’t friends. We just met.
I’m his mission. His emotionally unstable, highly inappropriate, ridiculously clingy mission.
The truth is, I wouldn’t be able to recognize mutual sexual attraction if it smacked me in the face, and I must be reading it wrong.
If Kai’s showing me kindness, it’s only because he can tell that I desperately need it.
He’s probably trying to figure out a way to convince me life is worth living. Because if—and that’s a big if—we win this thing and we leave here together, he’s going to send me off to a life I told him I don’t want.
