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I narrow my eyes at him like he’s speaking gibberish. “What?”
“Just a thought—we could enjoy this day.”
My mouth opens and closes a couple times because his suggestion is so ludicrous. “There’s a metaphorical guillotine hanging over our heads.”
He hikes a shoulder. “It hasn’t dropped yet.”
“But it will. Can’t you see what’s going on? All this uneventfulness? All the waiting?” I fling my arm out to indicate the lack of danger we’ve encountered. “It’s psychological warfare. Armand wants to make us sweat. He wants us to let our guard down so he can deliver the first blow when we least expect it.”
“Yeah, I figured that out.” Kai doesn’t seem bothered by the revelation.
“He’d love for us to have fun just so he can ruin it,” I go on. “If we decide to have a good time, we’ll be playing right into his hands.”
“You’re doing exactly what you said you didn’t want to do anymore,” Kai points out. “You’re looking to the future. Yes, shit will go down eventually. Until then, we can spend our time cowering and quivering. Or… We could soak up all the positive experiences we can get. Take it minute by minute.”
“Okay.” Still thinking he’s talking nonsense, I put a hand on my hip. “The food was great, but what’s next?”
He steps toward me until I catch a whiff of his cinnamon scent. “If you could do anything right now, within our current circumstances, what would it be? What do you want to do? If the palace is functional, as it seems to be, where would you go?”
I seriously consider his questions, and it doesn’t take me long to come up with an answer.
When I look down at myself, I see the smudges and streaks on my body. I can feel the grime between my toes when I wiggle them. My hair is unwashed and stringy.
“I’d want to get clean,” I reply with certainty. “Scrub every part of my body while hot water rushes over my skin.”
Seeming satisfied with my answer, Kai nods as if the decision has been set in stone. “Where’s the closest shower?”
I gesture behind him to a door on the other side of the ice box. “There’s a staff bathroom through there.”
Crooking a finger for me to follow him, he grabs his sword from the table and leads with the long blade out and ready. He opens the door, checks inside the room, then lets me know it’s clear.
Moving just past Kai, I look around at the plain bathroom.
The walls are covered with beige tile, and a long horizonal window near the ceiling lets in enough light to fully illuminate the space. There’s a toilet to my right and a small pedestal sink on the other side of it. A rectangular stand-up shower makes up most of the room, and it’s enclosed with glass. On a little shelf just outside the shower, there’s a simple bar of soap and two containers of what I’m assuming are shampoo and conditioner. Next to that, there’s a toothbrush with a wooden handle and a tube of paste. On the floor, there’s a brown woven basket with rolled-up white towels in it.
The room is dull and practical. No frills. Just stocked with the basics.
And I love it. After what I’ve been through, having the bare necessities seems like the most luxurious thing in the world.
“So.” I grin up at Kai’s perpetually grumpy face, and I can’t resist teasing the warrior a little. “You’re going to have fun, huh? Does that mean you’re going to smile?”
He haughtily lifts his chin as he looks down his nose at me. “You think I can’t?”
“I haven’t seen it yet, and it makes me wonder what it’s going to take.” I tap my jaw thoughtfully. “I’m not good at telling jokes. Has anyone ever tried to tickle you?”
“Not if they wanted to keep their hand.”
Ah. The no-touching rule. I keep forgetting about that, especially now that his scars are gone.
“To be honest, I don’t remember,” Kai admits. “Maybe I was ticklish in my youth, but that was long ago. Before… the incident.”
I understand without further explanation. “Have you truly gone without affection for most of your life? Haven’t you had romantic relationships?”
“Occasionally, I’ve had brief encounters.” His voice is flat, and I can tell he’s uncomfortable because his gaze is pinging to everything that isn’t me. “But I’ve never trusted anyone enough to let them touch me. There were rules, and I was right to assume their intentions weren’t pure. The gossip they spread afterward was proof.”
Rage bursts inside me at the idea of anyone betraying Kai that way, and I get a taste of the protectiveness he’s shown toward me.
My voice is hard when I ask, “They talked shit about you?”
