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“That’s how you got your scars,” Ro concludes. “But you’re a Healer. Why couldn’t you heal yourself?”
“The iron part of the whip was infused with Valonite.” I lift the collar around my neck and fiddle with the gold plate that contains a chip of the gem. “It contaminated my wounds. Tiny shards were left in my flesh, and they inhibited my power. I don’t think Zarid knew it would make the marks permanent. After all, he didn’t expect me to live.”
“How did you survive?”
“Zarid ordered his men to take me just past the border of the Day Realm into Dawn and Dusk and behead me there. He wanted me far away from my homeland, dumped in an unmarked grave. Fortunately, King Kirian and Torius came upon us. They were on their way to bury a warrior in the Sacred Cemetery, and they heard the soldiers taunting me while they tied me to a tree. Right before they swung their axes at me, they were interrupted. I don’t remember much of what was said because I was in and out of consciousness, but the confrontation turned hostile, and a fight ensued. King Kirian and Torius won, and then the Day Realm men were the ones in the grave.”
“I’m glad they died for what they did to you,” Ro growls because of how angry she is on my behalf, and it feels good to have her on my side.
“Don’t be too upset for me, Sunny. My story takes an excellent turn. Once King Kirian and Torius questioned me, they realized I was telling the truth—that I was innocent. They loaded me onto a cart and carried me with them on the rest of their journey. They thought I’d be a great addition to their entourage because I was a Healer. However, they soon found out I couldn’t use my powers, and they weren’t sure if I’d ever be able to heal again. Yet they still accepted me and gave me a place to belong. In the following weeks, my injuries improved but the road to total repair was long. My body had to push the Valonite out, much like it does with splinters. Until every particle was gone, my power was suppressed, but the other warriors were patient with me. They bandaged my wounds every day and nursed me back to health. After that, my loyalty was to the Night Realm.”
Ro’s quiet for a few seconds, and her sympathy has shifted into something different. Something that feels a lot like guilt. I don’t know how I can tell that without even looking at her, but I sense her remorse.
“Kai, when did that happen?”
“I don’t remember the exact year, but it was shortly after Zander was born. He was still just a baby.”
After an anguished noise, Ro blurts, “I swear, if I’d known what Zarid was going to do to you, I would’ve tried to stop it.”
“It’s not your fault,” I tell her seriously. “You had nothing to do with it.”
“But I was queen at the time.”
“You were a prisoner. It’s me who should be apologizing to you.”
“Why do you say that?”
“Because I knew what Zarid was doing. The entire kingdom was aware of how he’d taken a harem of human women because he was trying to produce an heir. And I knew he’d gotten one of them pregnant and forced her to marry him. I’ll admit, I thought about storming the castle more than once. I wanted to rescue all of you—especially you. Maybe that’s why he did what he did to me. Perhaps somehow, he found out about my treasonous thoughts.”
“That could be. He did have a powerful wizard in his employ, and that man knew things.”
“I’ve also considered that he might’ve been trying to make an example of me. There’d been whispers of rebellion amongst the people. So many families had been ripped apart by the plague, and Zarid was not a philanthropic ruler. However, after my public torture, that kind of talk stopped. If he wanted to display his cruelty, he did it successfully.” I shrug. “I could drive myself to madness if I try to pin down a reason. It doesn’t matter anyway. I’ve moved on from it.”
“Have you?” Ro calls me out.
I thought I had.
Before today, I’d fully accepted my scars.
Then Ro came along, and she’s made me yearn for something I’ve been denied my entire life: intimacy. Real intimacy, the kind where you can be completely vulnerable with the other person and know they won’t judge you. The kind of closeness where someone becomes your sanctuary, the place you can go when you need a respite from the harshness of the world.
And, yes, I’ve been missing out on the physical aspect of it, too. Primal passion combined with a deep emotional connection—I imagine sex under those conditions would be the best high I could ever experience.
I want that.
With Ro.
The longer I’m around her, the more my desire for it becomes a need.
Maybe I could have it with her today, temporarily, while I’m handsome and unflawed. We wouldn’t even have to fuck. I’d happily take any affection she’s willing to give, even if it’s just a cuddle or a kiss.
However, there are cons to keep in mind.
If Ro is amenable to my advances, I’ll feel like I used my attractiveness to entice her. The last thing I want to do is manipulate her and cause her to have regrets later.
Plus, I suspect I’ll be fucked up for the rest of my life if we get any closer. As it is, we’ve only shared a few brief touches, and I already know I’ll never be the same. I’ll always be thinking about each caress, and after we part, I’ll miss her fiercely, madly, until the end of my days.
The absence of her will be agonizing.
