AllFreeNovel
Share Us
His deep rumble does something to me. Something I’m ashamed of, but not because he’s a man and not a woman. Because he’s my best friend. My best friend, who was incredible last night. Who I was certain would kick me out and never speak to me again. But I shouldn’t have ever thought that way about him. Nothing he’s ever done pointed to that kind of behavior.
But I was still terrified.
It’s been so engrained in my life that being with other men is wrong, that something was wrong with that, that I just couldn’t trust it. Trust him.
Which fills me with the most shame.
Because I’m starting to see that it’s not wrong, not at all. That love is a beautiful thing, and it doesn’t matter if it’s between two men, two women, or a man and a woman. It doesn’t matter.
But this town is stifling. My home life is fucking stifling. And everything got so damn messed up in my head.
“You look happy to be awake this early.” I finally force myself to answer his question before I sit back down on the bed and tug my tennis shoes on.
I can hear his grin. “I like chores. I like working hard and keeping this place going.”
I smile and finish tying my shoes before I look over at him. “Yeah. I know you do. And I admire the hell out of you.”
“I admire you too,” he says, and I swear I believe him, although I have no idea why. He slugs me in the shoulder. “Let’s go. We’re already behind.”
I chuckle, but I don’t argue with him. I nod a greeting to his mom, who’s already working on breakfast, and then we head out to the barn. It’s hours of backbreaking work, but he’s not totally insane because it does feel good.
Kind of like right after practice when I’m sweaty and my muscles are sore. It’s a good tired feeling, one I can actually stand.
But then I find myself watching Adam a little too closely as he shovels out the barn, his sleeves pushed up and his forearms flexing with each movement. I look away quickly, but it must get his attention because he stops. “You okay?”
My entire mouth is dry, and I want to run away from this. Does he think I was checking him out? I mean, I kind of was, but it wasn’t on purpose. Is he mad? He has to be mad.
He leans the shovel against the wall and walks closer to me. “Zach, are you okay?” he repeats, and it feels like my heart might beat right out of my chest.
“I’m fine. I am.”
He’s watching me carefully, and I know my breathing has picked up, just from him standing this close to me because I’m so damn ridiculous.Who the hell falls for their very straight best friend?
Who does that?
Especially when I couldn’t even say the damn wordsI’m gayonly yesterday. But I’ve felt like this for a really long time. I’ve tried like hell to push it down and away, but I can’t. And now, he’s even more perfect.
Because he didn’t make me feel bad for being different from him. For being different from what this entire town expects. No. He went and said all the perfect things. All the things that make my heart race and my palms sweat. My attraction to him is multiplying when I didn’t think it was possible to want him even more.
“Talk to me.”
God. Damn. Him. Those words.Those simple damn words make me swoon like a total idiot.
“I wasn’t checking you out,” I blurt out loudly.
His eyes widen, and thank fuck his brothers and father are checking on the cows out in the pasture and nowhere near us right now. I want to curl up in a ball and wait for him to leave me alone in my misery, but my best friend is stubborn. “O-okay,” he says, raising a brow and staying put as he watches me.
“I just...” I start and then huff, running my hand through my hair. My cheeks are blazing from embarrassment. “I just didn’t want you to think I was checking you out, you know. I mean, you’re hot.” His eyes widen at that, and oh my God, I might actually die from embarrassment, but I can’t stop talking. “I mean obviously, you know you’re hot. You’re like the best-looking guy in the school. Hell, the town.” He cocks his head to the side and watches me, not saying anything. And unfortunately, I can’t stop saying things. “And now, you know I’m gay. Because I told you, but I’m not, like, checking you out constantly. Even though you’re well...”—I wave my hand in his direction—“hot.”
Kill me now.
Finally, his lips curl upward, and he’s grinning, but I still want to die. “You think I’m hot?”
I roll my eyes at that and shove him gently. “You know you are.”
He chuckles, but he shakes his head, and I guess that makes sense. Despite all the girls in school having crushes on him and flirting with him nonstop, he probably doesn’t even know how gorgeous he is. Adam just isn’t like that. He’s the most humble human I’ve ever met. “Yeah, look...” Now he seems a little uncomfortable, and I swear I notice a slight blush on his high cheekbones, but I can’t be certain. “I don’t care if you check me out or if you don’t. I just don’t want you to hide anything from me again. Not ever.”
I think my jaw just hit the barn floor. “You don’t...”
