AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“That and for what I did to Chloe.”
I hate the shame he’s carrying. And okay—devil’s advocate—yeah, it sucks that he felt the need to hide it so desperately and Chloe got caught in the middle. But I don’t think he wanted to hurt her. I think he did like her. I’m sure he desperately wanted to be attracted to her, but he just wasn’t.
I don’t really understand completely, but not for the reasons you would think. I just don’t really understand wanting to have sex with anyone. I don’t really get attraction. And dating. Relationships.
It looks nice, but it also looks painful and messy.
“You didn’t want to hurt her, Zach.”
“But I still did,” he says softly, his body resting against mine even more. “I did hurt her. I used her.”
“Because this fucking town, and your good-for-absolutely-nothing stepfather would make your life hell if they thought you were gay, and we both know it.”
He doesn’t argue with me.
“But you could have told me.”
His eyes squeeze shut, and I can feel his remorse. “I just wanted it to go away.”
And goddammit, my heart squeezes tightly in my chest because I know what he’s telling me is true, and it hurts so damn bad. He shouldn’t feel like that. No one should.
“Best friends, Zach. No matter what.”
I slide down, still holding onto him and taking him with me until we’re lying on our sides on my bed, facing each other.
“Thank you,” he says, and I can feel how sincerely he means it. My heart cracks again.
“Nothing to thank me for. Chloe will get over this. You didn’t mean to hurt her. You know that deep down.”
“But I did. She didn’t deserve to be treated like that just because I was a coward.”
“You’re not a coward,” I say honestly, but I know he won’t believe it either. Doesn’t matter, though, because I know it’s true.
He’s brave. So damn brave, and he was put into a horrible position.
“Go to sleep, Zach,” I say as I hug him to me, and I feel his body relax. I breathe in his shampoo and hold onto him as I close my eyes tightly and try to drift off to sleep. Zach is the best person I know. He didn’t mean to hurt Chloe, even though he did. And he has to let this guilt go. I’m going to do what I can to help him with that because he deserves it.
My best friend.
My comfort.
And the person I need to protect more than any other on this earth. One I will not let down, no matter what.
TEN
ZACH
“Wake up.” I open my eyes but just barely, already wanting to close them again, despite the sound of my best friend’s voice in my ear. His sexy, deep, low voice and his breath against my skin.
Yeah, I need to wake the hell up before my normal wood turns into something so much more. I turn to look at him and see the crazy guy is already dressed in jeans and a flannel shirt. His boots are already on his feet. “Oh God, what time is it?”
He chuckles at me and tosses me a pair of jeans and a flannel shirt, that’s definitely his. It’s washed, but it still smells like him. “Five a.m. Time for chores.”
“You’re fucking crazy, you know that?” I ask as I sit up and then force myself to stand and get dressed. It’s something I’ve done in front of him many times, but I can’t help but worry that it’s weird now. Now that I’ve said the words out loud.
Oh, God. I told him.
I finish buttoning up my shirt and force myself to look over at Adam, who’s watching me cautiously. “And why am I crazy?”
