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When he returns, he hands me the bottle and then settles back onto the sofa, close enough that our thighs are almost touching. It sends a shiver down my spine, but this time, it’s not from nerves – it’s from anticipation.
“Summer,” he begins, hesitating for a moment, “I know we’re still figuring things out between us, and I want you to know I’m here for you. Whatever you need, whatever you want to talk about. I’m here.”
His words spark a warmth in my chest, and I know I want to open up to him, to share my past in the hopes he will feel comfortable enough to share his, so we can move forward together. I’m willing to be the one to start because I know there will be a frost in hell before he offers up his story without any foundation.
And that’s fine.
“I—I’ve never really had anyone I could trust before.”
“Come here,” he murmurs, opening his arms to me.
Hesitantly, I shift closer, allowing him to wrap his arms around me. As we snuggle together, the physical sensations are overwhelming – the comforting warmth of his body against mine, the steady rhythm of his heartbeat beneath my ear, the faint scent of his cologne, and the strong yet gentle hold of his embrace. Our growing intimacy is discernible, and I know this is where I belong.
“I want to know everything about you.”
With the security of Ciarán’s arms around me, I sigh. “Growing up, I lived with my aunt. My parents died when I was very young, and she was the only family I had left.”
“Your aunt raised you?” he asks gently, his voice low and soothing.
“Raised me? More like she used me as her personal servant,” I admit, bitterness creeping into my tone. “She never allowed me to have friends or boyfriends or be involved in any activities outside the house. She homeschooled me, but most of what I did was cooking, cleaning, and taking care of her needs.”
“Summer, I’m so sorry,” Ciarán murmurs, his breath warm against my hair.
“Every day was a struggle,” I confess, the memories flooding back. “She would insult me constantly, telling me how worthless and ungrateful I was. She chipped away at my confidence until it felt like there was nothing left.”
As I share these painful memories with him, the vulnerability grows stronger. Tears prick at the corners of my eyes, but I refuse to let them fall. It’s difficult to relive those dark moments, but I find solace in Ciarán’s presence – something inside urging me to let him see the real me, to know everything I’ve gone through so he will reciprocate.
“Any time I tried to stand up for myself, she’d put me down even harder,” I continue quietly. “It made me feel like I didn’t deserve happiness or love, like I was just a burden no one would ever want.”
“Summer, that’s not true,” Ciarán interrupts, his voice firm but gentle. “You are not a burden. You’re strong, beautiful, and deserving of all the love and happiness in the world.”
Hearing his words, I finally allow my tears to fall – a mixture of overwhelming relief and gratitude wash over me.
“There were times when I thought I’d never escape her control,” I admit, my voice trembling slightly. “She didn’t just control my education and social life – she made me feel like I was nothing. Like I could never be anything more than a servant to her.”
Ciarán’s face tightens, his jaw clenching as he listens to my words. He reaches for my hand, intertwining our fingers together in a gesture of comfort. “You’re so much more than that, Summer,” he says fiercely. “Don’t ever let anyone make you feel like you’re less than you are.”
A small smile tugs at my lips, warmed by his fierce protectiveness. “The day I turned eighteen, the money my parents had left for me was finally released, and I took it and ran. I bought my little house when it was rundown and cheap and painstakingly did it up as funds would allow. I got the job in the department store and bought my car. I found a friend I trust with most things, but not with this. Amelia doesn’t know much about my past, and maybe I should speak up, but it’s hard. I know it doesn’t compare to some people’s trauma,” I fish like a champ, giving him a soulful stare, which makes the corners of his mouth turn up slightly. He sees straight through me. “But it was hard.”
“Of course it was, Tinks. And don’t let anyone ever tell you that your feelings aren’t valid. You went through hell, but you survived, and you are perfect now. I will love you and care for you in the way you should’ve been all along.”
It’s what I’ve wanted to hear my whole life, and I let out an ugly sob that embarrasses me but not enough to turn away from him. Clinging to him like a lifeline, I let it all out, knowing he will always be there to comfort me and pick me up when I need it.
32
CIARÁN
“Growing up… it wasn’t easy. Mam died young, and I had my brothers and, to some degree, our older sister, but our father…” The words catch in my throat, choking me. But I push through the pain, needing Summer to understand, to see the darkness that lies in me. She was brave enough to let me in, and now I have to do the same. “Our father was a monster.”
“What did he do?”
“Beatings, mostly. To all of us. But sometimes… sometimes it was worse.” I swallow hard, the memories threatening to drown me. “I still carry those scars, both inside and out.” Standing up, I remove my tee and show her the scars on my back from repeated cigarette burns, severe lashes with the belt and sometimes, if I really pissed him off, his blade.
“Jesus, Ciarán,” Summer murmurs, rising, her hand hovering over my back. “I’m so sorry.”
“Yeah,” I mutter, feeling both shame and a strange sense of relief at having shared my burden with someone who cares. “And that’s not even the worst of it.”
“Oh?” Dread fills her eyes, and I have to look away, or I won’t continue.
