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It's easier this way, avoiding him, for now at least.
I sit at my desk, my fingers dancing against the keyboard as I attempt to lose myself in the sea of work I'm behind on. But my thoughts have other plans.
Should I even tell him?
I imagine having the baby without Logan knowing.
A mini-Logan running around...
The thought is comforting and terrifying at the same time.
Would our child have his eyes? His charm? God forbid, his ego?
I shake my head, pushing the thoughts away.
I should keep it from him, right?
But even as I ponder the ridiculous idea, I know it's not a solution, not a real one. My secret won't stay secret forever, there's just no way.
Besides, I know I’m just running from my fears.
I am falling in love with Logan and I’m terrified.
Part of me wants to beleive that he’s telling the truth, that the rumors aren’t true, that he wants to be with me as much as my heart wants to let go and be with him.
But the part of me that’s terrified of being hurt pushes him away.
I know I am pushing him away.
I wish I could stop.
But it feels like I can’t.
My heart feels too vulnerable right now.
I hate it.
I look at the clock on my desk.
10:57 a.m.
This morning I received an email from Mr. Atwood. The subject line: "Meeting at 11:00 a.m." I take a deep breath and glance at the unsatisfactory cup of decaf coffee on my desk. It's a consolation prize for the caffeine I'm already missing.
Deep breaths, Bailey.
Grabbing the coffee, I get up from my desk and make my way towards Mr. Atwood's office. I knock lightly on the door before entering.
Mr. Atwood looks up as I enter. "Bailey." He motions to the chair opposite his desk. "Please, have a seat."
I sit.
"I've made my final decision," he starts, and I can feel my heart sink. I have convinced myself that Logan is getting the position. So, I'm ready to hear the words come out of his mouth. "I want to offer you the position."
"I under—" I start to say. "Wait... What did you say? Me?" I find myself stuttering.
"Bailey. You're the best fit for this." He looks at me. "So, are you in?"
"Yes," I find myself saying. "I'm in."
