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In passing I reach out and squeeze Emma's hand, briefly, to say thank you. I want her to know how much the things she does for me mean to me.
The surgery goes well and afterward when the patient is awake and alert I run through the care and recovery notes and prescribe her medication.
Then I rush back to my office to a consultation I have booked for another patient.
Why do I feel so overwhelmed today? Is it work? The baby that will be arriving soon? I don't know, but I am beginning to feel the stress more and more.
In the corridor I see Emma and as I walk past, she pulls me into an empty room and closes the door.
She wraps her arms around my neck and kisses me.
"I just wanted to let you know that you are amazing." She grins. "I can't wait to get home with you and show you just how amazing I think you are." She bites her lip.
My heart skips a beat and excitement runs through me. She makes me feel so alive, so happy. I feel like this is my first love and I am back in college. Young, full of life.
Then just as quickly as she pulled me into the room, she sneaked out of it, leaving me standing alone grinning.
Distracted again by her beauty and her gentle heart, I had better hurry to my consultation.
The consultation went smoothly. It is a basic surgery and I talk my patient through the ins and outs of the procedure as though I am on autopilot.
I am surprised to find that what I'm really focused on is the thought of marriage.
Marriage. I can't believe it, but I'm thinking about Emma and realizing that I want so much more than just this secret fling, these stolen moments in empty rooms. I want marriage. I want to propose to Emma.
My heart jumps in my chest as I think about it, and I'm filled with happiness at the idea. I will have to plan something amazing, something that will show her just how much I love her. Something unique and fun so that I can ask her in a way she will never forget.
My client asks a few run-of-the-mill questions and then leaves looking happy and excited about the surgery we have booked.
I sit at my desk thinking about Emma and our baby again. Maybe we need to find a new place to live? Somewhere bigger with space for the baby? Should it be in the city or further out? It would still be good to be close to work to make travel easier.
My thoughts run in all directions as I try to focus on work and get through the day, but I'm feeling distracted. All I want to do is get home and spend time with Emma.
I have one more surgery then I can get out of here.
I start getting my things together for the next surgery when Eric barges into my office. He looks angry.
"Eric?" I say, confused about the intrusion.
"Look, Lennox. I don't know what is up with you lately, but this is the second time you have prescribed the wrong meds in the space of a week. The first time it was not a big deal, but this time…" He sighs and runs his fingers through his hair in agitation. "The patient took the meds you prescribed before leaving the hospital and luckily they did not wait until they got home. There was a severe reaction as she was allergic to penicillin. It says it in massive red letters on her chart and somehow you missed it. We rushed her to the emergency unit, and we have her settled down now, but this is not acceptable Lennox. The board wants to see you."
My mind runs wild. Panic.
"I will come to see them right after my surgery. I have to get to it right now." I say, lost in thought, wondering how I missed the obvious warning on her charts. I have never missed something like that before. What is going on with me?
"Actually, Dr. Blake, I'm sorry, but your surgery has been handed to Dr. Philips. You need to come to the meeting right now."
Eric looks stressed. His face is strained with worry, and he keeps running his hand through his hair. "Eric, it was one mistake. Why would my surgery be switched to another doctor? I think that is a bit extreme."
"They found out about your accident. Your amnesia." He says bluntly. The truth is out. The thing we were trying our best to hide.
"How?" I say shocked. Now I am beginning to stress beyond the norm. We were hiding that for a reason. If the board found out I'm going to have to face some serious consequences. Suddenly I realize why Eric is so stressed; my job is at risk. This mistake has revealed something that could cost me my entire life's work. I might have my license revoked.
Shit.
This is not good.
"OK, Eric, I will come through right away," I say solemnly. "I just need a moment to gather my thoughts."
