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My heartbeat remainedelevated long after I’d finished my run. The climb up Covington hill had decimated my legs—but it had cleared my head—and I had an idea of how to approach the situation with my father. He’d already left for the morning gym session, so after changing my clothes, I grabbed a protein shake and headed for school.
I always arrived first, but for once I hoped that one of the other boys would be early. I sat in my car, conjuring up some courage when Skyler Knight’s car drove up. Prayers answered, we walked into the gym together.
“Morning,” I said as Skyler said, “Morning, Coach.”
Dad’s eyes darted and he opened his mouth wordlessly, like he’d been surprised by Skyler’s presence. He padded over to the whiteboard, finishing writing up the day’s program.
I barely heard Dad’s introduction, his usual greeting and call-to-action. It was always brief, time limited in the morning, but it included his latest mantra, asking us all, “Are we going to rise or fall?”
The team collectively answered, “Rise, sir.”
“Okay, let’s get to work,” he commanded with a strong clap of his hands.
“Hey.” My voice came out weaker than I had hoped, and I cleared it before trying again, more forcefully, “Hey, guys. I have something to say.”
The bustle of movement halted and Dad scowled, immediately clapping again and saying, “Let’s get a move on.”
I almost capitulated then, let him take back control, but it was the sight of Phoenix Carter working away in the corner with his resistance bands that gave me courage. Phoenix’s life was harder than anything I would ever have to face.
“Hey, as captain, I have something to say,” I said, and the gym went as quiet as a library. I puffed out my chest and folded my arms, I guess to try to look more imposing. “We’re three days out from the biggest game of our lives,” I said, my gaze flitting around the boys in front of me, but avoiding Dad. “And this is what we’ve all been working towards. Am I right?”
Their murmurs and nods gave me satisfaction that at least a few of them were listening to me. “Hey, I have some news that is—” From nowhere, my voice cracked. I mean, I was strong right up until that point, and then my chin quivered and if Sawyer hadn’t put his hand on my shoulder, I might have started blubbering. I drew in a calming breath and continued, “My Granddad had a heart attack yesterday and straight after training, I’ll be going to the hospital. And I won’t be at tonight’s training either. I need to be with my family. But Chargers are a team and just because I’m not there, doesn’t mean we don’t work hard. Got it? We carry on.”
I didn’t dare let my gaze find Dad’s, but maybe I wouldn’t have seen him anyway, because within seconds a crowd surrounded me, sympathy offered in buckets. The show of support was heart-warming, my boys reaching out to me, hoping my Granddad was going to be okay. Some of them expressed surprise that I was even here.
Tennessee said I should be with my family now. “Man, your Mom needs you. And Coach, you should go, too. You don’t need to be here.”
Dad’s lips pressed together tightly. I thought he was going to give Tenn a telling-off, but he nodded and solemnly thanked him. Then he told him to get to work.
I made sure I wasn’t alone during the session, still afraid of the rebuke that was bound to happen. Yeah, I’d been brave knowing there was safety in numbers. But alone, or at home, he’d reveal his true colors, of that I was sure.
“Cullen.” He called me as we were headed for the locker room, my heart rate spiking. Just when I thought I’d managed to dodge him. “You’re leaving now?”
“After my shower,” I said, trying to project a degree of confidence.
Believe, Sierra had said, and she’d been talking about my ability to lead the football team, but maybe I needed to have some faith in myself now, needed to stand up for myself.
“Mom already talked to Principal Porter,” I said, trying to maintain a steady voice. “I’m going to come back for fifth period because I’m in the freshman mentoring program, but otherwise I’ll be at the hospital. All day.”
Dad’s menacing glare, his silence was probably worse than him lashing out. This quiet, brooding version was someone I didn’t know. But that was okay—I wasn’t sure I knew who I was in that moment.
It was an anxious morning of drinking coffee from paper cups and snacking on dried fruit as Mom, Nana and I waited in Granddad’s private room. I tried to revise for my upcoming chemistry test and I added a few words to my English Lit assignment, but it was hard to concentrate when you considered that such tiny vessels could disrupt the body’s homeostasis, how vulnerable we became when just one part of the body underperformed. And how the insertion of small wire mesh tubes into Granddad's arteries would literally save his life. It was mind-blowing and spectacular, at the same time as being common and ordinary—millions of people suffered from artery blockage and needed stents. But unless it was happening to someone you loved, you never really thought about it.
With the arrival of my Aunt Hilary, Mom’s younger sister, and her thirteen year old twins, Abigail and Julia, who had flown into nearby Falls Creek earlier in the morning, the room became overloaded with sweet perfume and squeaky, tearful voices. It was a bit much, so I abandoned my books and took a walk down the hallway.
“Cullen.” I turned sharply to see Dad emerging from the elevator, and immediately braced for a confrontation. Though I was semi confident that my Covington Prep uniform afforded me a degree of safety—no way Dad would cause a scene in public. “Have you heard anything yet?”
I shook my head. “Not yet.” I indicated to Granddad’s room. “But Aunt Hils and the twins are here.”
“Tom?” It was a husky whisper. Tom was my uncle, a top defense attorney with his own very successful law firm. He was not my Dad’s favorite person. In fact, Dad couldn’t stand him. He called him pompous, arrogant and shady. Whenever we were at family gatherings, Tom talked incessantly about how well business was going and then would loudly ask Dad about his season. Well, up till this year we’d been on a losing streak, so you can imagine how that went down.
I shook my head again, and Dad’s face instantly relaxed. “I’m just going outside for a bit,” I said, jiggling my phone in my blazer pocket as it vibrated.
“I canceled field training today.”
I frowned, uncertain if I’d heard correctly. “What?”
