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Ouch.
“So you’re saying you’d be an asshole, too?” I asked.
“When you make a decision like you did, there are consequences. I would have made the same decision, and I’d live with those consequences. You should, too.”
I thought I saw what he was getting at, even though I didn’t like it. “So you’re saying, don’t go see Jack.”
“That’s the reason I brought your shit to you. The only reason.”
“I can’t promise anything.”
“Then you’re a bigger asshole than I thought,” Kade said as he turned and ambled off down the side of the road.
I thought about calling after him and offering him a ride, but I didn’t want to be around him anymore.
Cold, emotionless prick.
Plus, I didn’t want him talking me out of what I was about to do… which he was absolutely right about:
I was going to go be an even bigger asshole.
9
Ishowered, changed clothes, and checked out of the hotel. Ten minutes later I was on Jack’s front porch, ringing his doorbell – and when that didn’t work, I hammered my fist on his door.
I was terrified of what might happen. But I was more afraid of leaving town without trying to undo what I’d done.
It took a long time for him to open the front door. When he finally did, he was still wearing his jeans and wifebeater from the night before. Scotch fumes rolled out over me like an ocean wave.
His bleary eyes tried to adjust as he squinted into the morning light. When he realized who I was, his whole face became a mask of hatred.
“What the fuck are you doing here?” he asked, his voice coldly vicious. “I thought Kade dropped off your shit.”
I’d prepared a whole speech on the way over. It started with Jack, I know you probably never want to see me again, and continued on through a whole laundry list of why he and I were perfect together, and that I knew I’d fucked up, but it was stupid to throw away everything we had together.
But when you see the person you’re in love with look at you like you’re their worst enemy, it’s a hell of a blow.
My old boss Sid always said, Everybody’s got a plan till they get punched in the face.
All my plans immediately went out the window.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered, my eyes filling with tears.
“Ohhhhhh, you’re sorry,” he said sarcastically, then punctuated it with a brutal, “Fuck you.”
I tried again. “I shouldn’t have lied to you – ”
“‘I shouldn’t’ve lied to you, Jack,’” he mocked me. “‘I realize now I shouldn’t have fucked you over and destroyed your life, but I’m soooo sorry – so we’re good now, right?’” His eyes narrowed to slits. “FUCK you.”
There’s only so many times I can get punched before I start fighting back. “I was trying to find out who killed my cousin.”
“Yeah, I heard about that,” he said. His tone of voice was the exact opposite of Kade’s back in the hotel parking lot – vicious instead of understanding. “So it was okay to lie to my face, and let me walk into Lou’s trap, and – ”
“I didn’t know about Lou!”
“NO, BUT YOU KNEW ABOUT YOU!” he roared, jabbing a finger in my face. “You lied to me! I gave you every chance in the world to come clean, and if you’d just fucking told me the truth, none of that shit would have happened last night!”
“Yeah, right,” I snapped.
