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“Leave my room, I feel naked.” She stared at me for a while and got up.
“Alright. Come downstairs for lunch, okay?”
“I’ll come downstairs soon, but I can’t stay for lunch. I have somewhere else to be.” I waved my hand to dismiss her, “alright go.”
She sighed and left.
I picked up the bandage and wrapped it around my arm, before putting on my clothes and resting on the bed. I glanced around the room and my eyes noticed the color on the wall. The brown color was starting to fade completely, but I knew it wasn’t going to be repainted.
I looked around again, remembering that when I entered the room, it was warm. But it was now cold. I wondered where all the warmth went, then it hit me that my demons must have chased them away.
It was okay though because I was already used to the coldness and the darkness my demons emanated.
With a frown, my eyes shifted from the wall to the vanity table and I saw the little picture frame my mother placed on it.
I saw that weak little girl, that eleven-year-old girl smiling ear to ear while herdaddyclicked the picture. I saw that little girl who died the next year and I saw myself, the monster that replaced her.
“Hey, baby girl.” The voice wrapped around me as the door opened and my dad came in, smiling. I jolted up on the bed and watched as he walked in with a cup of cocoa.
What was he doing here? This was impossible. He ignored me and moved to the other side of the bed, where an eleven-year-old me was writing in a book.
I remembered this day. It was a month before we moved to Paris to stay with his best friend who would leave in a week. But it didn’t happen in this room,in this house.
“You’re late this time, Daddy. I need to sleep.” I shut my eyes at the sound of that voice. I hated it. It was too soft, too calming, and too raw. She yawned and chewed on her pen cap.
“I’m sorry, baby girl. I told your mom to teach you, but you insisted on waiting for me, demanding much.” He said, jabbing her sides and she giggled.
I shook my head a few times to get the image out of my mind. I knew I was hallucinating, but why couldn’t I stop it?
He took her book from her and handed her the cup of cocoa. He solved her homework for her, while she drank and after some minutes, he dropped the book with the pen in the middle.
“There, all done. You need to sleep now, it’s getting late,” he said. She nodded and climbed into her bed. He tucked her in and pressed a kiss on her temple.
“Good night, daddy,” she murmured and yawned again.
“Good night, my baby girl.” He whispered softly, his eyes filled withlovefor his daughter. After he confirmed she had fallen asleep, he proceeded to leave and when he got to the door, he turned back, looked at me, and smiled.
He can see me?
He strode toward me and leaned down, but didn’t touch me. He smiled at me and tilted his head. “Stop looking at me like that, baby girl. You already got your revenge, you need to forgive daddy now.”
He reached out to touch my hair, just like he always did and instinctively, I picked up the table knife beside me and cut through air.
I sprang up with a heavy gasp to realize that I had fallen asleep.
What kind of dream was that? It must be this room, I should leave.
Sighing, I got up from the bed and moved toward the closet to bring out a big brown envelope. I sat back on my bed and emptied the contents on it. I saw it; all the information I had gathered for the past four years.
Now that I was all set for my mission, I’d be taking it back with me.
I arranged it back into the envelope, tidied up the bed, looked at the room one last time, and shut the door behind me. Uncertain of when –or if– I would ever return to it.
My mother stood up as soon as she heard my footsteps. “Till when again? I mean when will I… when will we…” she rambled nervously, not knowing how my mood was since she left my room.
I gave a small smile that I was sure didn’t reach my face, walked to her, and pecked her on her forehead. She didn’t hide how surprised she was by my gesture, but she held both my cheeks and also pressed a kiss on my forehead.
“I’ll see you when I see you,” I said to her and after looking at me tenderly for a while, she nodded.
