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“But my grandson is extraordinary,” Charlotte assured him. “I’m sure no grandmother has ever said that before.”
Charlotte pulled into the back lot of the Cherry Inn and led Charlie into the back entrance of the apartment. Ethan’s cries were the only sound, and they got louder and louder as they approached, becoming like a nail through their eardrums as they entered. Van was in the kitchen with baby Ethan, who was red as a tomato, his cheeks shining from his tears. Van looked on the brink of a nervous breakdown. Grandpa Hank was standing in the kitchen, looking worried.
“Louise had just left,” Grandpa Hank said. “If only she would have stayed a little bit longer.”
Charlotte hurried toward Van and took Ethan in her arms. Charlie crossed his arms over his chest and stood awkwardly in the corner. Van and Hank peered at him curiously.
For a little while, Charlotte did everything she could think of. She tried, again, to feed him; she rocked him gently and massaged his stomach. All the while, Charlie shifted uncomfortably, his mind awash with memories. Melissa. She’d been just as small as Ethan; she’d been so helpless; she’d brought him so much joy.
And then, suddenly, he heard himself speak. “Do you mind if I give it a try?”
Charlotte gaped at him. But after nearly twenty minutes of trying to calm him down, she shrugged and handed Ethan over gently. Instinct took over. Charlie held Ethan’s head; he cradled him. His heart shattered. Ethan waved his tiny fists with rage and sorrow.
Slowly, Charlie knelt on the ground and placed Ethan on his baby blanket. He could feel Van, Charlotte, and Hank watching him intently. Probably, it was just as confusing to them why they’d trusted him. Then, Charlie took Ethan’s feet in his large hands and began to cycle his legs as though he were on the tiniest bicycle in the world. Ethan hiccupped with surprise. And slowly, slowly, the tension in his face released. His crying petered out.
“It was gas,” Charlotte whispered. “Just ordinary gas.”
“How did you learn to do that?” Van asked.
Charlie scooped Ethan back into his arms. His cheeks were cold and wet. Had he been crying? As he passed Ethan to Van, he recognized that familiar urge again. He needed to get out of there. He needed to run.
“I’d better get on the road,” he said.
“What? No!” Charlotte laughed nervously. “We just got here. We have to put up the tree.”
But handling little Ethan like that had torn Charlie up inside. He couldn’t make sense of it. Melissa’s very short life had begun to flash before his eyes: her first steps, her first piano recital, her first soccer game. He’d swelled with pride at each of her accomplishments.“That’s my baby girl,” he’d said. “That’s my Melissa.”
“I’ll see you soon,” Charlie assured Charlotte, although he wasn’t sure he could take it. He was a broken man.
Before Charlotte could say another word, Charlie rushed out the door and crunched through the yard, headed back to the cabin. It was just past noon, and the sun was directly overhead. Downtown rooftops shimmered in a way that made Charlie feel like he walked through a dream. It was hard to believe anything in his life would ever feel normal again.
ChapterSixteen
Charlie walked for hours. He returned to the cabin, made a fire, and then let the fire burn out. He felt twitchy and unable to calm himself down, wrapped up in memories of Melissa and Sarah. When he found himself again in front of Rudy’s bar, he could do nothing but march inside, sit down, and ask for a Dark and Stormy. Rudy said, “Coming right up.”
Up above, the bar’s televisions showed several local sporting events, Christmas specials, and news stations. Charlie watched a children’s Christmas choir performing, their mouths opening and closing silently as the television was on mute. Melissa had been in a choir, as well, often practicing her soprano wherever they went. She’d insisted on performing for the bagel seller, the hot dog stand, and the bodega clerk. “She doesn’t have a bone of shame in her body,” Sarah had commented. “I wish she could teach me to be like that.”
“How’s it going?” Rudy interrupted Charlie’s reverie. “You’ve been here a little while now, haven’t you?”
“More than two weeks,” Charlie said. “Hard to believe.”
“And how are you liking it?”
Charlie took a long sip of his drink. On the one hand, he’d come to the bar so that he didn’t feel so alone. On the other, he wasn’t sure he had the energy for these kinds of conversations.
“It’s nice,” Charlie offered with a shrug.
Rudy looked mildly disappointed. “I’ve seen you around town a little bit with my cousin, Charlotte. I guess you met the first time here at the bar?”
Charlie nodded and blinked, not wanting to betray any emotions. “I wanted to help her flip the Cherry Inn,” he reminded Rudy. “But she hated my designs. I thought she was going to rip them up.”
Rudy laughed. Charlie was surprised to hear laughter bubbling from his own throat.
“She’s stubborn,” Rudy affirmed. “We grew up together and used to argue all the time about silly stuff. Even if she was obviously wrong about something, she held her ground for as long as she could. She could have argued the sky was purple for hours. By the end of it, she would have believed it completely.”
Charlie loved that about Charlotte. He sipped his drink, cursing himself for using the word “love,” even just in his mind.
“She’s had a hard go of it,” Rudy went on, drying a pint glass and shelving it. “That husband of hers was a real piece of work. The first time I met him, I said something to Charlotte like, ‘Really? This guy?’ But I could tell that made her angry, so I immediately made a joke out of it. Pretended that I really liked him.”
