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The queen still wishes to punish him, and she has used me to do it.
She brought me the girl yesterday. She’d sent a messenger to replace me by Nox’s side while she summoned me to her laboratory. I’d been reluctant to leave Nox’s side, but given he was well enough to eat and speak again, I did not bother to argue.
I’m considering that I should have argued, though what good it would have done, I do not know.
When I entered the laboratory, she had the girl chained up on the table. She was writhing and screaming, and I believe my stomach hollowed out.
There was no time to ask the queen what she had done, no time to comfort the girl.
The queen told me she had found the perfect subject for my experiments. The girl was screaming so ardently, gnashing her teeth at the queen, I could hardly process what the queen was referring to.
But then I saw the spinning wheel in the corner, and a sack stamped with Rivre across it, and I knew.
In my panic, I told the queen that I hadn’t discovered a way to bind a sentient mind to the Fabric. It was true, but she would hear none of it.
“The boy must learn there are consequences for his actions,” was all she said.
That was when I truly looked at the girl.
One who didn’t know Nox well would have missed the resemblance. The girl’s coloring is the stark opposite of his, but there’s no mistaking their bone structure. The girl is his twin.
I begged the queen to reconsider, but my efforts were in vain. She told me the boy must learn, and that there are only two ways she can think to teach him.
One is to put the girl’s consciousness into the Fabric until the boy learns obedience.
The other she didn’t say, but I know well enough what she implied.
I sat with the girl all night, welcoming it as she screamed threats and obscenities at me. I suppose I deserved it, but I tried to comfort her all the more for her own sake. I’m afraid I was unsuccessful.
Out of habit,I set the journal down. It takes me a moment to realize why I’ve done it: because I’ve reached the point where the words typically begin to swim away from me, but when I glance back down at the page, all the words remain in place.
Perhaps when I Turned, whatever dark magic healed my neck, healed my eyes as well.
It seems like something that should make me want to cry, tear up at least, but it doesn’t.
I suppose that means something is wrong with me, that I can’t seem to access those emotions, but I figure I already knew that, so I continue reading.
Day 18,Year 28 of Captivity
It’s been three days, and the girl has finally screamed herself to exhaustion. I’ve asked her for her name, because I feel she deserves more than to be ‘the girl,’ but she refuses to tell me. I’m sure Nox has never mentioned her name, but I also wonder if perhaps he has, and I simply was not listening. I think I have figured out a way to bind her to the Fabric, but she’s sleeping now, and I don’t wish to do it without explaining to her what is about to happen. I will not mention my theory here, lest the queen see. I’d rather her not discover how to repeat this dark magic.
Day 19,Year 28 of Captivity
I committed an unforgivable sin today. I used an ancient technique to plunge her into an indefinite slumber. I then bound the girl’s soul to the thread, and I began to weave it into a tapestry. She screamed so loudly when I was trying to explain that I’m not sure she ever understood what was about to happen. I did all of this when the queen was not present, which inflamed her, but I care not. I will do this for the girl, I will do this for Nox, but I will not allow the queen to repeat this atrocity on anyone else.
I intend to make the tapestry a pleasant one.
Day 21,Year 28 of Captivity
The tapestry fights against me, the thread weaving patterns I do not intend.
There is more trouble for the girl than I want for her, so I will finish this tapestry and then attempt again.
Day 22,Year 28 of Captivity
The queen brought the girl to Nox today, just for a moment, before setting her upon that awful shrine she’s prepared for the girl. I do not believe I will have the energy to write for quite some time.
No matter how I strive to weave happiness into the tapestries, it seems the thread has other plans for the girl.
