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Then there’s the part of me that wants to have somewhere to carry her to. A home where she won’t have to live in hiding, constantly hunted by the male she used to call a friend.
As much as it kills me to agree to a plan that involves me not being the one to get Asha out of the palace, I know it’s the plan that gives her the best hope of a future.
One where the Others haven’t taken over her home.
“Fine,” I say, to Fin and Lydia’s surprise. “Blaise, just tell me what I need to do.”
CHAPTER 94
KIRAN
With Nox and Blaise taking Bezzie’s guest room in the furnished basement, Dinah helping Bezzie out upstairs, and Elias keeping watch on the roof, that leaves me, Fin, and Lydia to share the living room.
Something tells me Bezzie arranged things like this on purpose, or that perhaps it’s Dinah’s doing. Though whether it’s forcing Nox and Blaise into the same room, or me and my siblings, I can’t tell.
We’re all quiet for a while, settling onto our cots on the floor, though it’s unlikely I’ll sleep.
I haven’t slept through the night since Asha’s wedding to Azrael, my whole body squirming, my imagination torturing me with what Azrael might be doing to her during the night hours.
My stomach roils, and I find myself up and about, pacing in the middle of the night as cold sweat beads off my forehead.
“Our intel says Azrael hasn’t touched her.” Lydia’s voice is gentle. If I’ve ever heard her speak that way before, it would have to have been when I was a small child.
A light flickers in the room as Fin lights a candle.
From the bloodshot veins in his eyes, I can tell he hasn’t been sleeping either.
“That’s a relief,” he says, running his hands through his hair. My memory flickers back to something Asha told me months ago. When our relationship first progressed, Fin became visibly upset when he discovered what happened between us. Asha had thought very little of it, other than that it pained Fin to have his friend fall for the brother he hated so much.
I probably pondered it more than she did, watching the way my brother was with her, lighting up in her presence. The way he only seemed totally at ease when around her.
A pang of jealousy ripples through me at his statement of concern, though I squelch it immediately. He’s Asha’s friend, her brother by marriage, and he has every right to be concerned over her safety.
“I still can’t sleep,” I say, crossing my arms. “Just the idea of…” I feel the blood drain from my cheeks, and I wonder if I’ll become physically ill.
Light from the lamp flickers on Lydia’s sharp features as she sits upright and leans her back against the wall.
“It’s likely at least one of us will die tomorrow,” she says, looking at the ceiling rather than either of us.
I huff. “Well, I know who you’re putting your hopes in, Lydia.”
It’s meant to be a joke, but there’s too much truth in it to land properly. My sister frowns, then turns her piercing violet eyes upon me. “I don’t wish for you to die, Kiran.”
I cross my arms, allowing a faint smile to creep up on my face, because apparently I feel that will make this conversation less uncomfortable.
The smile must look strange on me, because she knits her brow. Fin says nothing, still standing by the candle in the corner.
“Well, I hope you don’t die either, Lydia.”
She doesn’t smile. Not that I was expecting her to. But still, there’s a sadness there in her eyes that I don’t quite understand, that I can’t quite grasp. Perhaps it’s the knowledge of the relationship we could have enjoyed had either of us put away our pride for a moment.
“I’m not sure you mean that,” she says, and now it’s my turn to frown.
“Lydia, we might not get along, and you might have intended to kill me at some point, but—”
She shakes her head, shooting to her feet, urgency bleeding all over her expression. For the first time in my life, I think I find anxiety on my sister’s face, especially as she chances a glance at Fin.
“There are things about me the two of you don’t know,” she says.
