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That day, I saw Timmy by the water and went to say hi while Mom rented our canoes. He said his mom was with him, but where she was and what she was doing, I had no idea. All he said was she wanted him to wait here and count the canoes until she got back; he’d been counting them for hours—before and after lunch. So, I took my wrapped sandwich out of my bag and gave it to him, intending to let him eat half like I always did, but then I saw Mom coming back, and I didn’t want her to know I was sharing the food she worked so hard for. So, I told him he could have the whole thing, but he needed to hide it until we were on the water.
He did. And Mom and I went canoeing for a little, and when we got back to shore, I told her I lost my lunch over the side of the canoe.
“You always had the biggest heart. Selfless. Generous.” My chin dropped for a second before I felt her hand on my cheek. “And you’ve always been bad at lying when it’s for my sake—when you’re doing it to protect me.”
I swallowed over the lump in my throat.“Then why didn’t you say something? Why did you let it go on?”
Her soft eyes twinkled with something that made my chest tighten. “Because it wasn’t a lie to you.”
My breath rushed out. “Of course, it was. I just met Decker. By accident. He was never really my boyfriend—”
“The way you looked at him wasn’t a lie. That’s why I didn’t say anything. Because I looked at the two of you together on that second day, and I realized that you’d let him in,” she insisted. “Through the tiniest crack in your armor, Reese, you let him through because you felt safe—safe knowing you could pass it off as fake.”
“No—”
“And I see the way he looks at you. The way he just stepped right into this charade without question or expectation when you sent him home every night.”
The band around my chest tightened. “Mom—”
“The story about how you met was fake, but the emotion was real. The way he described seeing you for the first time. The way he looked at you when he talked about the future. He came when you called. He stayed away when you wanted him away. He didn’t have to be here every day. He didn’t have to play cards with me and Cheryl. He didn’t have to call you every night after he’d gone home.” With every word, my heart beat harder. More painfully as she forced me to acknowledge all the things I tried to stay blind to. “He didn’t have to take us to Yellowstone. And honey, the way he stepped in between you and the bison, the look on his face—”
“Mom, stop!” I yelled. I had to make her stop. I couldn’t take it anymore—couldn’t take the thought of what could be. I stood and backpedaled, crossing my arms like they could stop my heart from spilling out all over the floor.
“Reese—” She maneuvered in her chair, desperate to get out of it and reach me.
“Whatever it was…it doesn’t matter. It’s over,” I said brokenly. “I’m going back to New York tomorrow.”
“Of course, it matters.” Pain creased her brow. “You’re in love with him.”
“No,” I scoffed quickly—too quickly. “No, I’m not. I can’t.”
“I see—”
“And why can’t you see me, Mom?” I interrupted her. “Why can’t you see everything I’ve done—everything I’ve become and be happy with that?”
She rocked back, and I lurched forward to catch her, but she managed to stabilize herself.
Guilt burned inside me for lashing out, but I was tired of trying to hide it. “Why is it always about who I’m seeing or if it’s serious? I work so hard—I literally save people’s lives—but you don’t care about that—”
“I do care about that, Reese. I do—”
I shook my head. “If you did—”
“Why do you think Dr. Kay offered you a job?”
I blinked. “Because the hospital needs doctors?”
“No.” She gave me a sad smile. “It’s because I’ve talked to him about you for months. Your accomplishments. Your care.”
“Then why do you keep asking if I have someone?”
“Because you’re alone, Reese. You have your accomplishments, but you’re alone.”
“And if I’m happy alone?”How could she not have considered that?
“Are you?”
How could I not have considered that?
