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The further they flew away from South America, the more Gray’s scowl seemed to lessen. Aubrey couldn’t help but wonder why he hated it so much. But she liked seeing the tense lines around his mouth gradually ease up. A little, anyway. She hadn’t seen him truly smile yet, just hints and slight twists of his lips, and she wondered what it would look like when he did.
She had the feeling he didn’t do it often, but it would be a rare and beautiful sight to behold.
Turning slightly, leaning against the plane’s window, she surreptitiously studied the big man seated beside her. Even though his eyes were closed, his big hands clasped against his flat, lower belly, and he seemed at rest and harmless, Aubrey knew he was completely aware of his surroundings. Like a slumbering lion. She zeroed in on the long, white scar on his forearm and wondered what happened.
No doubt about it. Gray possessed a dangerous air and was a man of action. But, she could see beneath his gruff exterior and recognized his sorrow.
Aubrey was intimately familiar with the anguish that accompanied tragic loss. Losing someone you loved left an irreparable hole, one that could never be completely filled. Even though her brother died three years ago, she still thought about him every day. The stages of grief were different for everyone. And it wasn’t something that ever truly went away. But, hopefully, it became bearable if you handled your emotions.
Grayson Ellis was hurting on a profound level, one she recognized and understood, and she wondered what had happened.
The healer in her wanted to help. But Gray was a proud, strong warrior and getting him to acknowledge weakness and open himself up to her would be a process that would take time and patience. She had a feeling he didn’t allow himself to be vulnerable. It wasn’t exactly a desirable trait for a man who’d had a Navy career.
Truthfully, her own scars still itched sometimes. For as much work as she’d done on herself over the last couple of years, trying to heal and get healthy, the process seemed neverending. It wouldn’t be easy for him to release whatever darkness was clinging to his soul. As much as she’d like to help him, Aubrey knew she only had hours left with the man.
And healing from trauma took time.
Unfortunately, she wouldn’t get much more time with Gray. They would land in California soon and she would say goodbye to the big lion with the battered soul behind those golden eyes.
???
The team landed at the private airstrip near Playa del Oro and, by the time they reached their bungalows, it was nearly four in the morning. Everyone was exhausted and they planned to reconvene after a few hours of shut eye.
Gray shared a bungalow with Zane, but he hadn’t spent a lot of time there yet since he’d only recently joined Ex Nihilo. He dropped his duffel bag on the floor then turned to Aubrey. “You can sleep in my room. This way.” He motioned for her to follow him, guiding her down the short hallway and pushing his door open.
It wasn’t much, but he didn’t need a lot. Gray was a simple guy and as long as he had a roof over his head and a bed, he was fine. But he suddenly felt uncomfortable, wishing he had more to offer Aubrey.
“Sorry, it’s nothing fancy. Bathroom is right there.”
“It’s perfect. Thank you.”
Right.He glanced at the bed then dragged his eyes back to the very small, very curvy woman in front of him. He couldn’t help but wonder what it would be like to share his bed with her.
Since losing his team, Gray had shut down his emotions. Dealing with them was overwhelming, so he stuffed them into a mental box and slammed the lid shut. The only problem was those emotions kept slipping out, finding cracks and crevices, and haunting Gray through nightmares. It was getting harder and harder to ignore them, and nothing seemed to help ease the guilt that ate away at him like acid.
Even though it made no sense, something about Aubrey soothed the demons clawing to get out of the box. He liked talking to her, looking at her, touching her arm or back. Her mere presence helped ease the weight he’d been carrying around after losing his team. Which was insane since he hadn’t even known her for twenty-four hours yet. But, that short amount of time he’d spent with her had been the most serene and in-control he’d experienced since the traumatic event that had changed his life.
Gray followed his gut instincts—they never let him down. And his gut told him Aubrey had a beautiful soul. The soul of a healer. And his brokenness yearned for her on a deep, primal level.
Unfortunately, their time was almost up. And it wasn’t her job to tackle all of his baggage and issues. Besides, he wasn’t what she needed or deserved. She was way too good for a big, broken, scarred guy like him.
I don’t want to bring you down to my hell, Sparkle,he thought.
No, he refused to pull her into his darkness. The best thing he could do was get her on a flight back home as soon as possible.
That’s what he kept telling himself, anyway.
Gray gave her a chin tilt. “Get some sleep. I’ll make sure you’re on your way home later today.”
Did he imagine it? Or did a look of disappointment flicker across her face? No, he was just tired and not thinking clearly. Wishing for impossible things.
Swiping a hand over his jaw, Gray turned around and walked out. He pulled the door closed behind him, passed Zane’s closed door and headed back into the living room. After yanking his shirt and belt off, he undid the top button on his cargo pants and dropped down on the couch. He untied his boots, peeled off his socks and tucked them inside.
Even though his body was tired, his mind refused to shut down. The op had been a half-assed success and he dreaded the thought of returning to South America. Again. However, he would send Alvaro Mesa to hell. That was a promise he’d made to himself and his brothers.
The ironic thing was Gray would never have met Aubrey if he hadn’t returned to Colombia in the first place. Squeezing his eyes shut, he pictured her gorgeous indigo eyes and long dark hair. The way it tumbled around her shoulders. Hell, he could still smell her soft gardenia scent and, for the first time since he could remember, hot desire spiked through his dormant body.
With a grunt, he turned onto his side and scowled, forcing himself to shut down any and all sexy thoughts. But after an hour of tossing and turning, unable to even fit on the damn couch, Gray sat up and raked a frustrated hand through his short hair. He needed coffee, and the sooner Aubrey left, the better. Then he’d be able to focus better and forget the ridiculous fantasies that were swirling around in his head.
