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And I certainly couldn’t guarantee a smooth ride from here.
Probably the very opposite.
I had to be open and honest with him about that.
He and his mom had heard about my mother. I had to explain her condition to the officers.
What he might not know, was the disease that was taking my mother—might be swimming around inside of me, waiting for its time to attack. I hadn’t done any kind of testing.
Yet.
So, being with me—might mean we didn’t have kids.
Or we adopted.
Or we built our family in some other unconventional way.
And I would completely understand if Cash wasn’t into that.
Just like I’d one hundred percent understand if he wasn’t into being with someone who—in a decade or two, or three—might not be the person he married.
But one thing this whole freaking Stuart fiasco taught me—was that I needed to know the truth.
Because the truth might hurt.
A lot.
Like—a ton.
But I needed to know where he stood. And what was next.
A life with Cash.
Or without.
The puck was in his end, now.
And he’d have to decide what he wanted to do with it.
After I finished the song, Cash stood and stepped over to me. He held his hand out for the guitar, so I gave it to him.
He carried it back to his seat and started singing “I Would Die For You,” by Jann Arden.
Two seconds later—tears fell down my cheeks.
And I watched Cash wipe his eyes more than once as the heartbreakingly lovely lyrics drifted past his handsome lips.
When he finished, his eyes held mine over the fire. We said so much during that silence—I was literally exhausted.
Cash set his guitar against the log pile and rose to his feet. My heart stuttered as I watched him walk to me. This time, his hands reached out for mine.
I gave him my hands, and he pulled me up and into his body. “How could you even wonder if I’m strong enough? I’m here,” Cash’s voice cracked, and a new rush of tears ran down my face, “aren’t I?”
I sniffled and nodded and tried to blink away the fountain of tears falling from my eyes. “I love you, Cash. But being with me won’t be—” I took a deep, choppy breath, “easy.”
He sniffled and let go of my hand. After he quickly wiped his eyes, he chuckled and said, “Well, is sure as fuck hasn’t been a cakewalk so far, now, has it?”
I didn’t want to laugh.
