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My only ally was Jason’s dad, and I’d visited him several times. Being in his house made me feel closer to Jason. Even though Jason hadn’t lived there for years, it was the closest connection I had, and Michael seemed to understand that I needed something to hold on to.
Jason and I spoke on the phone every day, more than once, if there was time between shows, interviews, travel, and sleep. We both counted down the days until he would arrive in London and we’d be reunited.
* * *
Six days after Jason arrived in New York, every plan we had was blown to pieces.
Have you ever walked into a room and instinctively known something was wrong? I’d entered the kitchen early in the morning, and my mother was sitting at the kitchen table with her back to me. I could hear Dad’s voice from the living room, it sounded as if he was on the phone, and nothing about the scenario was unusual. Except the atmosphere. It felt still. Somber. The way the air feels before a huge storm. I wrapped my robe tighter around myself as a shiver rippled across my skin.
“Mum?”
When she turned to me, she was shaking, and her eyes were rimmed with redness as if she’d been crying for a long time and had only just stopped.
“Mum, what’s wrong?”
She blew out a slow breath. “Sit down, Lucy.”
I hadn’t ever seen my mother in this state, and as I approached the table sitting beside her, my body began to tremble with the severity of what I was about to hear. It had to be huge, and it was going to affect me. I could tell by the heaviness in her eyes.
“Lucy, there’s been an accident. A very serious accident. Ellie called us a few hours ago, and—”
My stomach jolted, and I clutched my hand over it as dread rushed into my bones. “Oh my God. Mum. Who’s hurt?”
“It’s the band, Lucy.” She paused, taking a few more breaths which only served to make the fear inside me ramp up higher. “The tour bus was on the way to Houston, and there was a crash. The… the bus…”
“Mum, please,” I begged, my voice trembling as much as my body. “Just tell me.”
She gave me a small, reassuring smile. “Jason is okay, Lucy. He’s bruised and shaken, and he’s in the hospital, but he’s okay.” A small rush of relief left me, but it was only brief because something was obviously very wrong. “Joey is also okay. Like Jason, he’s got minor injuries. They’ve both been very lucky.”
My heart began to sink. Drew. She hadn’t mentioned Drew yet, and I covered my mouth with my hand, trying to fight the sickness that threatened to climb out of my stomach as I stared at my mother, waiting for her to continue.
“Drew is in intensive care. He’s suffered a head injury as well as a lot of broken bones, and they had to perform emergency surgery due to internal bleeding.”
I shook my head slowly. “No,” I mumbled. “Is he going to be okay?”
“I don’t know, sweetheart. Right now, he’s in a critical condition, and we just don’t know what will happen.”
This had to be a mistake. Different people, a different band, because this didn’t happen to people we knew. This was a thing that happened on the news. A tragic accident that affected strangers. It didn’t happen in our world, not to us.
I wanted to ask so many questions, but words wouldn’t form. Why didn’t they wake me sooner? Where was Ellie? What caused the crash? If the boys were traveling to Houston, where were they now? How far did they get?
“Mum. What about Mack?”
Her eyes dimmed, and she lowered her head. “He didn’t make it, Lucy.”
It was too much. I leaped up from my seat, ran to the sink, and vomited violently as tears poured from my eyes.
Mack. Kind, funny, laid-back Mack. He’d been my ally on the tour. He was an ally to everyone because he was just so unfazed by everything. He didn’t judge, didn’t interfere. All he wanted from life was to play music and be happy.
And now…
My mother’s hand gently rubbed my back, and I slowly lifted my head from the sink. I was still trembling, my skin icy cold. “Mum, I can’t… I don’t know how to handle this.”
“None of us do, Lucy. I’ve been up for three hours, and I still can’t take it in. Your dad’s trying to sort out flights to get Ellie, me, and Michael to Houston and…”
The room slid out of focus for a second, and I leaned back against the sink as her words settled into my brain. If I’d been thinking clearly, I might have seen this coming. Or maybe not. My mother had had three hours to figure out the next steps, but I hadn’t gotten that far yet. Hadn’t thought about going to the boys.
Mack. Mack was gone. And Drew… he might not pull through…
