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“Wait. Mum… I—”
She shook her head. “Ellie has to go to be with Drew, and she needs me to be there for her.”
“What about Jason? Mum, please, I—”
“Lucy, we’re not trying to leave you out, but we can’t all be there. Joey’s family will be there too, and—”
“Mum! I know you’re not crazy about the idea of Jason and me, but he needs someone to be there for him. I get that his dad will be there, but everyone’s going to be with Drew, and Jason… I don’t know how he’ll cope.”
I could barely cope with what was happening, but Jason had spent years with his bandmates, and losing Mack and seeing his brother in intensive care might just be enough to send him over the edge. We’d already had one close call with drugs. I didn’t want him to have another. I wasn’t arrogant enough to assume my presence could prevent him from relapsing, but if there was any chance I could do something to help him, I didn’t want to pass it up.
“Please,” I said softly.
She looked into my eyes for a moment, and I could see her battling with her decision. Eventually, she shook her head. “I’m sorry.”
I ran my hand through my hair, trying to come to terms with all the information I’d gotten since I walked into the kitchen, but I couldn’t get past the fact that Mack was dead, and Jason wouldn’t have anyone there just for him. I didn’t mean to seem callous. Of course, I was worried about Drew and terrified about the possibility that he might not be okay and what that would mean for Ellie. But Jason. I just needed to wrap my arms around him and thank God he was okay.
I sank to the floor where I was because my legs wouldn’t carry me back to the chair. My life had become a living nightmare over the last two weeks. I’d been alone, even when I’d been surrounded by my family because they were all so busy with their own judgments that they hadn’t heard me. Hadn’t heard me trying to find a way through, and maybe the right words didn’t even exist.
Perhaps, just like for the rest of the world, it was a matter of time before Jason and I proved we had something worth trying for. And now it was so insignificant. A life had been lost, and another one hung in the balance. My mother might have had a point about not wanting too many people taking over the hospital, but dammit, those guys meant the world to me. And Jason and Drew were practically family.
The thought of Drew lying in a hospital bed, fighting for his life, made my heart ache for him and Ellie.
The sound of the front door opening and soft footsteps on the hallway carpet made me raise my head. Ellie stood in the kitchen doorway, her face deathly white, eyes bloodshot and puffy. She wore jeans and her favorite baggy comfort sweater, the one she always wore when she needed to feel warm and safe. Her eyes locked onto mine, and I stood. Without a word, I flung myself into her arms and held her tight as her head fell onto my shoulder, and she sobbed.
“It’s going to be okay, Ellie,” I managed to say through my own tears. “It’s got to be okay.”
Instead of answering, she clung to me, and I wished more than anything I could take her pain away. We’d virtually been strangers since I’d been home, and I wished it hadn’t taken this to make all the arguments vanish as if they’d never existed. What we should have been doing was planning her wedding, and it pierced my soul to think that wedding might not even happen.
“Flights are booked.” I loosened my hold on Ellie, and we both turned as Dad joined us in the kitchen. “But you’ll need to get moving fairly quickly. The train is at twelve, and your flight is at nine tonight. Let’s just hope there aren’t any delays on the way.”
My heart sank a little further, knowing I wouldn’t be on that flight with them, and I lowered my head, trying not to cry again.
The front door opened again, and a haggard-looking Michael entered, his face as pale as Ellie’s. I stepped away from Ellie and hugged him tight.
“I was just telling everyone the flights are booked and the train is at twelve,” Dad said. “You just need to get ready and then you can head off.”
“Thanks, Martin. Did you book return flights?”
Dad shook his head. “I thought it would be easier not to because nobody knows how long you’ll be there. It’s a pain of a journey too. London to New York, three-hour stopover, then on to Houston.”
Michael sighed, and I knew what he was thinking. It was the same thing we were all thinking. A journey that long… anything could happen in that time, and there would be no way for them to get information while they were in the air.
What if they got halfway and something happened to Drew? What if they were too late?
Ellie let out a small sob, and my mother grabbed her before she fell to the ground. “Mum, I’m so scared.”
“I know, Ellie. We all are, and if we could get there any faster, we would. But this is all we have, so you need to stay strong. You need to be strong when you get to Drew so you can help him pull through.”
As a tear slipped down my cheek, Michael gave me a weak smile. “Same goes for you, Lucy. I need you to be strong for Jason.”
I couldn’t meet his eye. “I’m not coming.”
How could he have not known that?I thought the details had been wrapped up while I was asleep. That was probably why they did it while I was sleeping, so I couldn’t demand to go along.
Michael’s eyebrows wrinkled in confusion. “Why not?”
I didn’t need to speak. I just shook my head and waited for someone else to explain. It sure as hell wasn’t my choice.
