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“I do.But I’m also aware those feelings will have nowhere to go when he disappears off to wherever he’s going.Is it truly worth getting any more involved with him?”
“Nova, he’s right next door.Say you call time on whatever this is tonight.Then what?He’s there, and you know only a wall is separating you.You could bump into him anytime.How are you going to cope if you have him right there and you stop yourself from going near him?”
A small knot formed in my stomach, tightening at the idea of seeing him outside and then us going our separate ways.Even if that would be the end result after Christmas, more than a week of knowing he was my neighbour would kill me if I couldn’t be with him.
But that was bad too.Because if I felt that way now, how would I feel when he was gone?
“I don’t want to avoid him,” I said.“I don’t.I guess I’m just nervous about feeling too much.Or more than I already feel.”
“The way I see it, darlin’, it’s too late to stop it now.The feelings have already happened.Whether you see him or you don’t, you’re going to hurt when he’s gone.Why not just make the most of what you have while he’s here?”
Something June said to me right after she lost Trevor drifted into my mind.
“If I could have just one more day with him.To say goodbye.To tell him I loved him.I would take any moment of time I could get with him, but it’s too late.”
This wasn’t the same, of course.June was talking about the sudden loss of the man she had been with for most of her life.She hadn’t had the chance to tell him the things she wanted to, even though he already knew them.She needed him toknowshe loved him...to say it once more, but she couldn’t.
Donovan wasn’t that to me.But he was someone I wanted to be around.And if a week was all we had left, if I could soak up the joy of being with him for as long as I could, why shouldn’t I?Like Gaby said, the feelings were already there.That ship had sailed the second his lips met mine, so now, all I could do was go along for the ride.
“Gaby, this is why I love you,” I said.“Thank you.”
She laughed.“You didn’t need my help.You just needed to talk it out.”
“Yeah, I guess so.But thank you anyway.Do you wanna meet up before New Year?Maybe go out for some drinks in Exeter?”
“Oh, hell yeah!You’re welcome to stay at mine.”
“That would be great.Bring Shannen too.She’s lovely.”
“She is.I’ll ask her and see if she’s up for it.”
After a quick round of goodbyes, I put my phone in my lap and took a sip of my rapidly cooling tea.Another night out with my friends would be just what I needed once Donovan had swept out of my life.If that was when he was leaving.He still hadn’t specified a date, just that he was leaving sometime before his parents got home from their cruise, though he had said he could stay through some of January.The idea warmed me a little, knowing it might not be over as soon as I’d thought.
My text tone went off, and I was fully expecting a reassuring message from Gaby.Instead, Donovan’s name was on the screen.
Nan says she would love for us to spend Christmas with you and your family.She also said to let her know if your mum needs anything bringing as she would like to contribute.I would too xx
I smiled and typed back:
I’ll ask her.I don’t think she’ll want anything, though.Unless we want to make some more cookies :p xx
After a few moments, he replied:
I’m up for that.P.S.I miss you.xx
The goosebumps erupting on my skin at his message made me pull the sleeves of my jumper down over my hand.Not in a bad shivery way.In the best kind of way.Because I knew he meant it.And because I missed him too, even though we had been apart for less than an hour.In spite of all my concerns, I hadn’t had anywhere near enough of him yet.
I answered:
Come over.Please.xx
There was no need to wait for his reply.I knew in the depths of my soul he would be at my place soon.I could imagine him making up an excuse to June as to why he had to come back.Probably something about Christmas arrangements.I chuckled to myself as I placed my cup on the table.
Two minutes later, my phone vibrated with another text.
June
I’m not sure who my grandson thinks he’s fooling but it isn’t me.Have fun my darlings xxxxxx
